Friday, October 19, 2007

Through the Fire

It's all done.
The last month was probably another shift in my life... and i'm still trying to get used to all the changes.

I've said goodbye to my grandmother.
I've done the Palawan gig (which turned out to be the Palawan trip from hell).
I said "til next time..." to Ian.
I finished packing for Ian.
I landed a day-job and ended it just as fast as i got it.
We've finally decided to put Dylan into school- and it's pushing through.
I've established contacts in terms of my jewelry.
I'm getting to know different people more and more.
I'm getting worried about my leg- it's given up on me a few times and i might need to get an operation.
I'm moving on.

Something that i have just stated in 10 sentences is actually the complete sum up of my life in the past few weeks. I've been so caught up with "preoccupying" myself, i never really wanted to write about it. I had so many things to do, i was running around the metro and catching my breath only when time permitted it.
I was living. Getting through the day one step at a time... just simply, getting through it.

Ian's been gone for over 2 weeks now. It sounds quite pathetic... but i really feel different without him. It's just what happens in relationships, i guess. You're so used to being a "we", you forget how to function just as "me".
I've been doing alright though... the day job took up a good amount of my time... and i've made the extra effort to hang out and make plans with people.

I'm working on getting more work and handling more projects.
I'm working on making sure i'm a good enough mom.
I'm doing so many things with the intention of, not just improving myself, but improving my life in general.

I've gone through some things i thought i would never be able to hurdle my way through... but i've done it, and i've overcome it.
Shit happens. That's life.
But i'm still okay. I'm still strong.
I'm doing it for the people that matter.