Wednesday, July 8, 2009

If There's Anything I Can't Stand...

*The PEOPLE Edition

it's cranky waiters or waitresses. They totally ruin the experience and it affects their performance. And then they get mad when you don't leave a tip when you're done. psh! You get what you deserve, remember that.

it's those people that stand around to assist you at the department store that don't know what they're doing. They literally stand around all day (sometimes even conversing amongst themselves), and when you approach them to look for something they either say, "Wala" (none) or "Out of stock" without even checking. You walk around for an extra 15 minutes only to find what you're looking for!! Ugh!! Do your job!! Is it that hard??! If you don't like this job, look for another one where you'd be more competent at. I feel like you were put on this planet to make my life a bit more complicated.

it's cab drivers that complain the entire way to your destination. Since we're on this topic...
it's cab drivers that
  • ask for extra money AFTER you've already jumped in. Waste of my damn time.
  • ask for a flat rate when you've already moved and you could have easily taken the dude behind him that would have totally used the meter.
  • take the long route because they THINK you don't know where you're going or what you're doing.
  • don't know where they're going- seriously, and you took this job??
  • play their music too loud like they're deaf. And then get annoyed when you POLITELY ask them to turn it down.
  • smoke cigarettes while you're in there. Dude, i don't wanna feel like i'm already AT the club.
  • don't have change. And then they get mad when i tell them i'm gonna get off first to get change. Yo, that's not my responsibility. I'd gladly get out paying you 10-20 pesos less. That's YOUR problem.
  • ask too many questions. I'm not doing an interview. I like my quiet cab time!
  • talk to you the whole way to where you're going... umm... just drive!
  • insert themselves into your conversation with a friend. wtf?
(in fairness, the last two can be entertaining sometimes. SOMETIMES. Like once every year when i'm seriously drunk or utterly bored.)

it's street kids that beg, asking for money or food, and if you turn them away, they curse at you or wish you ill/dead. Seriously?? (i'm not kidding) Oh, and then there are the ones that "wash your car" and when you wave at them not to because your car is perfectly clean and you don't want them to use their dirty ass rags and detergent on it, they pour that soapy shit all over your windows anyway. Your car ends up more filthy than before they started. Punks, i swear.

it's those inconsiderate smokers at the club that hold their smokes like they're ready to put someone's eye out. Or they walk around with it turned out when they very well know the club is jam packed. Or they dance with that thing flailing around like it's a damn glow stick! I have so many marks from these retards. If you're a smoker- learn how to hold it properly! There's etiquette for that shit, you know??!

it's those girls that stare at other girls like they know they're better than you or think they're the shit. I'm talking the snooty girl with the glare. Ahem, girrrrrrl... you're not all that. Unless you're really just a bitch. Then by all means, you do what you do.

it's those war freaks always out to look for a fight. We're not in high school anymore. Get over your insecurities. You're killing everyone else's buzz. Shit starter...

it's the loud neighbors. I'm saying "neighbor" in every aspect of the word. If you're in a restaurant and they're sitting at the booth behind you. If you're at a cafe and they're sitting at the table right next to you. If you're living in a condo and they're right next door. I'm talking about the ones that have the tendency to talk 8 decibels louder than everyone else. I can understand if you're excited (and even that should only last a few minutes!)... but respect everyone else's space. We're all trying to have a conversation and/or concentrate. Just be considerate is all i'm saying.

it's them "talkers" at movies. Holy hell... just shut up!

it's that dude at the club that can't take a hint... because he's too cocky for his own good. There's a reason why you can't get a decent girl. You should be able to point it out by now...

it's those moochers that take hella drinks from your bottle... but will never put out even a little bit when the bill comes around. He'll eat 3/4 of your fries, and won't offer a centavo... no matter how many times he's done it. He'll eat 3 slices out of the pizza... and just watch the rest of you pull money together when it's time to foot the bill.
On top of all that- he comes from a very well off family. So no excuses there- you're just a moocher. From the words of Fergie, "If you aint got no money, take your broke ass home".

it's the "friends" that'll take drinks out of your bottle... and grab some more to give to their friends. And then sit at your table and make room for their friends. And then they'll party at your table and take up precious amounts of space without introducing you to any of their friends. And then they leave you with a fat ass check... but not even a "Thank you".
Oh, and then they tag you on an ugly, awkward moment, caught-on-camera-eyes-half-open photo on Facebook the next day. MotherF@%^*!!!
That, my friends, is moocher-deluxe.
At least his/her friends think he/she's cool.

it's that asshole that spits or blows his snot out of a moving jeepney. Jesus.

it's those impatient dipshits that don't know how to line up... or act like you're blind and you didn't see them just cut the line.
Ooooh, and to add onto that, it's those inconsiderate biznatches that cut the line in the bathroom because their friend is up next... umm... we ALL need to pee! That's why we're there!!! GET IN LINE! Learn some damn manners. If you really wanna pee together, get at the END of the freakin' line. That's just rude...

it's the lazy security guards that DON'T check your bag when it's open, but to spite you, hassle you only when it's closed.
1) you're just not doing your job.
2) you're on a power trip and you need to stop.
3) if people die, it's YOUR fault. Get it together.

it's those corrupt MMDA traffic people that stop cars when they "break the rules". It's like, dude... I'm in here and the meter is running. Hurry the hell up. If you're gonna take the money, take it already... we ALL know what goes down. If you're really NOT, then write up the ticket already. Just HURRY THE HELL UP. No, i'm not gonna help the cab driver pay his way outta this one. Are you seriously whacked out?

it's those damn drivers that stop to look at an "accident" even if it was just a scratch or a car that stalled in the middle of the highway. You're backing up the entire freeway here!!! There's nothing to see... it's a highway! Keep moving!

It's that guy that mops the floor and does it without a care in the world that he ends up mopping your toes too. Eww. Seriously, you have to do that now?? And is that really how it's done?? Please...

It's that dazed pedestrian that crosses the street without thinking, right when the light turns green for the vehicle... and then they get mad when you abruptly hit the breaks or honk out of surprise.
That, and the pedestrian that walks like they're in a slow motion segment in a Michael Bay film and take foooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeer to cross when you have every right to move. Extra bonus points for if they glance at you amidst their stroll. You deserve to be run over.

it's CLOWNS. They're not funny. At all. They're only scary, if anything.

Okay, i'm done.
I have a lot more, but i think i should stop right here.

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