Arbitrary Mind Picks #98

1. There's nothing like the holiday season to make people feel more jekyll & hyde-ish.
Everything is extra irritating but you also feel like you're compelled to be extra nice.
Weird.

2. Family traditions are awesome.

3. I love giving presents. Especially when i know exactly what to get and the recipient likes it and they do that face when they finally see what they got. Yeah, you know what i'm talking about. Love it!

4. Christmas is just THAT much better when it's cold.

5. I'm on sugar overload. There goes my diet. *womp womp*

Happy Holidays!

A Thousand Words...

"Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it. I loved it. I answer all my children’s letters — sometimes very hastily — but this one I lingered over. I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it. I wrote, “Dear Jim: I loved your card.” Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received. He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything. He saw it, he loved it, he ate it."

Maurice Sendak

We think we know what we need.
We spend our time figuring out how to get what we want-
Who can help us, who's in the way.
We make our moves and sometimes we get lucky.
We get exactly what we want...
and life gets worse.
Simple truth #22- be careful what you wish for, brother.
Be very very careful.
-Augustus Hill, Oz 1997

My Soho Skyline

The view from my Makati balcony

Once upon a time (more like 6 months ago), this view was enough to make my heart swell with pride. Standing there, looking out, listening to died-down Manila traffic at night, and thinking, "I did it".
I need to remember that more often.

Options

You change for two reasons: either you learn enough that you want to, or you've been hurt enough that you have to.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #97

1. Jason Mraz was amazeballs. I want to keep him.

2. Everything happens for a reason... so even though my weekend was not spent in a foreign land i had my heart set on for the past month- i believe that things worked out as they should have.

3. Hangovers get worse the older you get.

4. I don't know what it is about the air up here... but it's nice to be home. #Baguio

5. My son hit another growth spurt sometime during the last week. He's just bigger every time i see him. I missed this crazy kid.

6. Looking forward to the calm. I really need this.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #96

1. I went from hella ecstatic to crazy bummed in about 2.7 seconds as i heard the words, "Filipino passport holders need a visa for entry..." slowly uttered.
It really really really sucks.

2. Snippets of optimism is the last thing i ever want to hear when freshly bummed. One week should be an efficient amount of time. Maybe 5 days minimum. Just saying.

3. Lesson learned. Again.

4. PMS and disappointment is not a good combo.
I am better off locked up in my apartment than out and about snapping at my friends.

5. I'm gonna stop now.

6. Jason Mraz on Sunday isn't such a bad consolation prize. Ridiculously funny how things work out. I meant that in the most sarcastic way possible.



He is my only hope.

Cate Parr

I Like Creativity With My Coffee

Aryz

"The grass is greener on the other side..." only means you gotta water your side more. Maybe a little fertilizer. Put in some work.

And she’s gonna learn that this life will hit you hard in the face,
wait for you to get back up, just so it can kick you in the stomach.
But getting the wind knocked out of you
is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #95

1. Spent our Tuesday hanging out at the hospital.
The way things work in our country... baffles me.
---
Registrar: "Do you have an appointment?"
Me: "No. Just a walk-in."
Registrar: "Ok, we'll put you down for an appointment at 3:30pm."
Me: "Ok, great."
Registrar: "First come, first serve po ito..."
... uh, wha?

2. I will never get used to cooking for 2.
It's a double whammy because i don't like eating leftovers.

3. Dylan owns a skateboard. (Finally). I think he likes the thought of owning one... not so much the using of one. *sigh*

4. I love Burger King's Crosscut Fries. McDonald's Twister Fries. Jollibee's French Fries.
I just like fries.

5. I love how kids can play for 12 hours non-stop... and complain about homework that requires 15 minutes of their time.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #94

1. With all the iconic deaths in the past few years... i've realized that it's possible to be affected by the passing of someone you've never even met. I mean, obviously, duh. But if you really stop to think about it... isn't that just a crazy emotion? To feel for someone you have never even had a conversation with or looked at straight in the eye....

2. I need to go shopping.

3. I'm finally going to put my new passport to use. Key word: FINALLY.

4. There's a reason i can't live with roommates. I treasure my alone time. Plain and simple.

5. When the sell-outs come out ahead and your progress begins to dwindle... where do you draw the line? Is it still considered to be your "dream" if a slight alteration has been made against your favor?
There are days i wish life came with an instruction manual. I, for one, am not the kind of girl who reads them... but if the need should arise, i'm the kind of girl that keeps em tucked away in a drawer- you know, just in case.

To Changing The World.

I used to be so anti-Apple. I complained that everything was on "the wrong side" and i didn't understand it at all. Little did i know...
I own a Macbook Pro, an iPod, and an iPhone.
And i absolutely love em all. Made my life just that much easier.
Who knew?
I never would have guessed...

[PS: This video sounds like it's directly speaking to my son.]

"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

Muhammad Ali Underwater, Miami, August,1961
Photograph by Flip Schulke


I hated every minute of training,
but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now
and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
~Muhammad Ali

Saturday's Shennanigans

The bright idea of having your friends sit in the trunk of a sedan because you can't fit in the car... and to have one your friends yell out, more than once, "No! We're 30 years old!!!"
(LOL)
... as she walks towards the street to call a cab. I follow behind her, amused at the thought of age-appropriate behavior.

The last time i was ever in a car with people sitting in the trunk because we couldn't fit any more inside was in 1999. I was 15 years old.

A Reminder in my Inbox

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was "sub-normal," and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams." He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math.

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riff raff.

Henry Ford could not read nor write, failed and went broke five times in business before he succeeded.

As an inventor, Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn't fail a thousand times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps." Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive."

R. H. Macy failed seven times before his store in New York City caught on.

Van Gogh sold only one painting during his life. And this, to the sister of one of his friends, for 400 francs (approximately $50). This didn't stop him from completing over 800 paintings.

F. W. Woolworth was not allowed to wait on customers when he worked in a dry goods store because, his boss said, "he didn't have enough sense."

When Bell telephone was struggling to get started, its owners offered all their rights to Western Union for $100,000. The offer was disdainfully rejected with the pronouncement, "What use could this company make of an electrical toy." And how many people have a telephone today?

Sigmund Freud was booed from the podium when he first presented his ideas to the scientific community of Europe. He returned to his office and kept on writing.

Rocket scientist Robert Goddard found his ideas bitterly rejected by his scientific peers on the grounds that rocket propulsion would not work in the rarefied atmosphere of outer space.

After Carl Lewis won the gold medal for the long jump in the 1996 Olympic games, he was asked to what he attributed his longevity, having competed for almost 20 years. He said, "Remembering that you have both wins and losses along the way. I don't take either one too seriously."

Babe Ruth is famous for his past home run record, but for decades he also held the record for strikeouts. He hit 714 home runs and struck out 1,330 times in his career (about which he said, "Every strike out brings me closer to the next home run.").

Stan Smith was rejected as a ball boy for a Davis Cup tennis match because he was "too awkward and clumsy." He went on to clumsily win Wimbledon and the US Open...and eight Davis Cups.

Tom Landry, Chuck Noll, Bill Walsh, and Jimmy Johnson accounted for 11 of the 19 Super Bowl victories from 1974 to 1993. They also share the distinction of having the worst records of first-season head coaches in NFL history - they didn't win a single game.

Charles Schultz had every cartoon he submitted rejected by his high school yearbook staff. Oh, and Walt Disney wouldn't hire him.

After Fred Astaire's first screen test, the memo from the testing director of MGM, dated 1933, read, "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." He kept that memo over the fire place in his Beverly Hills home.

Astaire once observed that "when you're experimenting, you have to try so many things before you choose what you want, that you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion." And here is the reward for perseverance: "The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it's considered to be your style."

After his first audition, Sidney Poitier was told by the casting director, "Why don't you stop wasting people's time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?" It was at that moment, recalls Poitier, that he decided to devote his life to acting.

When Lucille Ball began studying to be actress in 1927, she was told by the head instructor of the John Murray Anderson Drama School, "Try any other profession."

The first time Jerry Seinfeld walked on-stage at a comedy club as a professional comic, he looked out at the audience, froze, and forgot the English language. He stumbled through "a minute-and a half" of material and was jeered offstage. He returned the following night and closed his set to wild applause.

After Harrison Ford's first performance as a hotel bellhop in the film Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round, the studio vice-president called him in to his office. "Sit down kid," the studio head said, "I want to tell you a story. The first time Tony Curtis was ever in a movie he delivered a bag of groceries. We took one look at him and knew he was a movie star." Ford replied, "I thought you were supossed to think that he was a grocery delivery boy." The vice president dismissed Ford with "You ain't got it kid , you ain't got it ... now get out of here."

Woody Allen: "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Eighty percent of success is showing up."

Michael Caine's headmaster told him, "You will be a laborer all your life".

Charlie Chaplin was initially rejected by Hollywood studio chiefs because his pantomime was considered "nonsense."

Decca Records turned down a recording contract with The Beatles with the evaluation, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on their way out." After Decca rejected the Beatles, Columbia records followed suit.

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired Elvis Presley after one performance. He told Presley, "You ain't goin' nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred playing his own compositions instead of improving his technique. His teacher called him "hopeless as a composer." And, of course, you know that he wrote five of his greatest symphonies while completely deaf.

Leo Tolstoy flunked out of college. He was described as both "unable and unwilling to learn." No doubt a slow developer.

Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women, was encouraged to find work as a servant by her family.

Emily Dickinson had only seven poems published in her lifetime.

18 publishers turned down Richard Bach's story about a "soaring eagle." Macmillan finally published Jonathan Livingston Seagull in 1970. By 1975 it had sold more than 7 million copies in the U.S. alone.

Jack London received six hundred rejection slips before he sold his first story.

21 publishers rejected Richard Hooker's humorous war novel, M*A*S*H. He had worked on it for seven years.

27 publishers rejected Dr. Seuss's first book, "To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street".

Thanks, Dad.

A Great Way To Start Your Day

Arbitrary Mind Picks #93

1. Times are a-changin'.

2. I gave high heels a chance. However, no matter how great they make legs look and how cute they go with almost any outfit... it is just the kind of voluntary pain and torture i do not wish to subject myself to.
Honestly, how do some girls keep those on all day and all night??
I understand how beat-up looking feet happen. Completely.

3. I have been at home for 5 days straight nursing a sickly 7 year old.
I'm not used to him being so quiet.
I'm sick of my own cooking.
My apartment smells like a hospital.
There was a typhoon that happened?? In our city?? I didn't even notice.
TV Series on tap has never been more convenient.
I need a drink.

4. A single compliment across the DJ booth totally makes up for the 10 irritating requests to play a song (a) i don't like, (b) that is completely out of my BPM zone, (c) that i've already played- twice. (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE *straight face*
I'm looking at you... Dougie.

5. My internet hiatus served a good purpose.
Kudos to blessings in disguise.

If I Could Paint My Walls

[Vintage styling and upcycling of Glen Proebstel]

Get "Edumacated"

They drugged my kid in school without my knowledge and apparently with hopes of me never finding out either. I was livid. To say the least.

Why children are always blamed for the shortcomings of their "leaders", "teachers", "role models" and various "authority figures" completely disappoints me.

Dylan's an out-of-the-box kinda kid. Deal with it. And get educated.
A**holes.

Work In Progress

Quite Clever

That is one smart ad.

Scratch That Itch

I have an itch.
That sounds wrong... but anyway-

So i've been lying awake at night and slowly trying to piece my 10 year plan together. I said "slowly", so realistically, i was piecing together my plan for the next 12 months. I have never been one to plan too far ahead. Something about the future that makes my tummy turn inside-out. I've always been a day-to-day kind of person and it works fine with me. It always has.

Until recently.
These days, the day-to-day living isn't cutting it. I want to know that i have enough to pay for rent 4 months, 5 months, 6 months from now. I want to know that to be able to buy groceries, i don't have to avoid certain luxuries like... i dunno- internet or my phone line. Little things. It's always the little things. I want to be able to dine at a restaurant and not worry about whether or not i should have used the money for something else instead.

So i'm itching. I'm itching for productivity, creativity, innovation, inspiration, and motivation. I'm itching for ideas and plans and opportunity. I need/want to immerse myself in the cogwheels of artistry. If that even makes sense.

So bring it. While the enthusiasm is still fresh.
That is all.

i Heart My Job

I also love VANS.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #92

1. Jumped back on the fitness bandwagon... and it hurts. Who woulda thunk that 3 months could do so much damage? Here we go again...

2. I just realized today (because it happened 3x) that i always expect the elevator to be empty. Therefore, when it opens and there's somebody standing in there- lo and behold, it startles me.

3. I have no internet at home. Is it obvious?

4. My 2 month long anti-spending spree will finally come to an end. The apartment down payment and security deposit situation was definitely a mountain i trudged up and CONQUERED!
*pat on the back*

5. I turned 28 last week.
It was quite uneventful.
The weird part is that i didn't really mind.

FRESH

INK CALENDAR

I hella want one.

A HeLLz of a Time!

Peep more photos at The Daily Steez.

Read up on the event covered by Status Magazine.

Check out MissLawn and Bamski's adventures in the PI at the Hellz Bellz blog.

Thank you to everyone that came through to the launch and joined in on the mayhem of an afterparty! This experience has been nothing short of awesome.

If you haven't already downloaded the Kyss Kyss Bang Bang mixtape, don't miss out and check it out right here.

Vans x Hellz Bellz on the Ray-Dee-Yo!

BOOTH PARTY at The KC Show

L-R:

Bamski (GPPR), DJ Teaze (me), Sarah Meier,

DJ Skratchmark, MissLawn (Hellz Bellz), KC Montero,

Wendell (Vans), and DJ Jena.

The KC Show on Wave 89.1

Mon-Fri 8am-11am

Not a bad way to start the week.

Up at 6:30am to make it to the Radio show to plug the Vans x Hellz Bellz Colab Launch Party.

4 hours have never flown by so quick.

Definitely gonna make it a point to drop in again.

Hellz F*ckin YEAH!

I've been a fan of Hellz Bellz for years. I was (and obviously, still am) an avid follower of their blog. I even put a link to their site on the side bar right here on my own page.

Everything that's going on right now feels a little bit unreal. I used to read their shit and look at all the things they would come out with... and never ever in a bagazillion years did i even think that one day i might be, even a smidget of a tad bit, a part of that. Inconceivable, i tell you.

Now, here it is. My name on their blog with something that i put my sweat and tears into.

I don't even know what to say.

Check out their words and our mixtape right here.

I'll get back to you when i've managed to compose myself.

Let The Countdown Begin...

7 more days.

"We dwell in our homes and our homes dwell in us. It lingers when we leave. Beckons when we’re weary. It is the place that gives us comfort and ease. Home is the one place where we can simply be. Where we can find our way in the dark. Where we can identify the sounds of our children’s bare feet on the floorboards, trace the same path of sunlight across the dining room wall—from spring through the coming winter. A place that evolves with us in our journey, burnished with the patina of memories. It’s a place that we create to suit ourselves. To envelope ourselves in the artifacts of our lives and dreams. To share ourselves with family and friends. To cherish the past while it resides along the present. It’s a spot from which to look out upon the world. A place to return to. Where all our roads eventually lead. Home."

-Bates Corkern

[Unveiling the next chapter...]

“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime…”

— Khaled Hosseini (The Kite Runner)

Arbitrary Mind Picks #91

1. The internet is a disastrous distraction from getting $#!+ done.

2. PMS- 1 | Me- 0

3. I thought i missed High School. After seeing 300 high school kids make morons out of themselves last night- i don't miss it too much. I am now quite content with turning 28 in 5 weeks.

4. High School Graduates + Open Bar = A Club That Reeks of Vomit. *gag*

(I obviously did a high school gig last night. Duhr)

5. My creative juices flow past midnight. Always have. Probably always will.

Strange.

(Probably why coffee is my best friend.)

6. Totally amped for the Vans x Hellz Bellz launch... but brainstorming for this mixtape will be the end of me.

(PMS picked the wrong week to show up)

7. The cure for hormonal outrage is feel-good music.

(i.e.- Acid Raindrops- P.U.T.S.)

I Believe.

I've found myself in a rut. I've been told that most people who become successful usually go through these so-called "rock bottoms". I say this a lot- but it's gotta be cliche for a reason.

I've made some pretty big, life changing decisions lately. In all honesty, i have no idea what i'm doing and how to pull all of this off... all i know is that i want to do this and i've never wanted anything so damn bad. I believe that wanting something bad enough has to be a good start- no matter how nerve-racking or migraine-heavy the task at hand, also known as "obstacle", that is put in front of your face is.

A belief in something has to stand for something great. I now have a clearer understanding of how hope plays such a huge roll in the lives of millions and millions of people. We all know this shit is far from easy... but we do it, blindly, hoping that the effort, hard work, blood and tears will all be worth it in the end.

I notice as the days go by that tiny little messages are hidden underneath the grains of salt rubbed into my wounds. There are lessons to be learned and truth to be unveiled. No matter how painful and frustrating- you realize these things, accept them, learn them well, and move on. I am at that point in my life where my tolerance for bullshit is at an all-time low. Get to the point or get out of my face. I'm not playing games anymore. This is the real deal and i mean business.

It's harder to trudge through life realizing the ugly truth left and right. It would be a lot easier to be completely oblivious and ignorant. Keeping it simple is in a way synonymous to keeping your mind closed. The more aware you are of everything that surrounds you, how it affects you, what you want, who you are, and what really matters, the more complicated everything seems to get. How much easier it would be if your main goal in life was to simply be. But that just isn't the case because we're designed to always want more, to strive for better things, and to satisfy one's cravings.

Someone once told me i was aiming too high. To accomplish so much in a short amount of time and dream of "unrealistic" goals. I didn't really know how to take that... since this was a conversation between friends and i take criticism quite well. But it left a bad taste in my mouth, one that i didn't care to have... and it caused me to re-think.

I have butterflies in my stomach every day. A heaving pound in my chest. A migraine that spontaneously manifests at random times of the day. I'm scared half to death and sometimes i just need to shake myself back to normalcy and calm the fuck down. In turn, however, this feeling keeps me motivated to get things done, do better than what i expect from myself, get down with the nitty gritty and hustle.

I wouldn't have decided to chase after my dream if i didn't think they were possible. I didn't drop a good life back home to live miserably in a city of shattered hope.

No. I believe i can do this. I believe in my purpose.

I left 2 years ago believing that my purpose had been served and that something new was waiting for me. I wanted to concentrate on being a mother and concentrate on that alone. Lesson learned: I am not made for domestication and that my entirety is not based on just one thing. I have to do something for myself and be happy in order to be fulfilled- as my own single entity and as Dylan's mom. It didn't occur to me beforehand that parenting and my "dream" job could live harmoniously together. It was either be good at one or the other. Never at both.

I was wrong.

I could never be a happy mom without doing something for myself, and i could never be satisfied with work if i knew i was doing my son wrong.

This will have to work and thus, i will make it.

You know that feeling you get when you're asked to perform in front of the whole school? Your parents are watching, the bullies might make fun of you, you only rehearsed like... yesterday? And your whole class is depending on you to tackle this with perfection?

Pre-performance jitters.

That's what this feels like.

Except this is real life and if i fail, i end up homeless with nothing to eat and i run back to my dad and ask him to save me.

I'm just saying.

Let's do this.

-venting over-

Hellz x Vans pt. 2

Remember when i used to post about "The Hadley" nonstop? Admiring a Hellz x Vans collabo from across the seas and solely through the net? And then i got em... and i was hella happy and i for sure thought it couldn't get any better than that.

Well, it just did.

My girl Jena and i have been granted the privilege of DJing at the Hellz x Vans Launch at the Vans store in Glorietta 3 this coming June 15 from 4-8pm.

The word "stoked" doesn't even begin to cover it.

Working on the one hour mixtape at this very moment- to be posted as soon as it's done, of course.

Two of my favorite brands teamed up for an awesome line??!?! Hellz Fuckin' Yeah.

I leave you now with a video which is pretty much self-explanatory.

I really do love that shoe.

Almost like the weather knew how i was feeling inside and decided to interpret it... #typhoon

Tag Team Back Again

First Female HipHop Duo in Asia back together again!
You won't want to miss this...

Don't Make Me Regret This...

i want one.

“There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.”

— Laurell K. Hamilton (Incubus Dreams)

Word To The Big Bird.

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable."

~ Lane Olinghouse

Aim High, Dream Big

Butterflies In My Stomach

Arbitrary Mind Picks #90

1. I dropped my laptop earlier. I hate that feeling.
There is a dent... and it's irritating the b'jeezus outta me.

2. I'm going to miss the weather up here.

3. Hunting for a school is a bitch when you actually give a f*ck.

4. My body clock is back to normal... too bad i'm leaving for MLA again tomorrow. Nyerk.

5. I figured that i hide under hats because... well, simply put- i hate my hair.

6. The decision is final- i'm moving back to the big bad shitty city.
Explanation to follow.
Yes, i'm fickle.

I dig him. Like, a lot.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Some people just really know how to dig in there and get on my effin nerves.

Congratulations- i abhor you more than ever.

Grow the *see photo* up.

This Is Real?

Wow.

I hate to do it...

"...the importance of perseverance, that in the face of true love you don't just give up- even if the object of your affection is begging you to."
-Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl

True or False?
[Yes, i quoted Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. Get over it]

I'm A Big Boy Now

We're all seated at the dinner table. It's raining pretty hard for the first time in months. We can hear the rain make contact with the tin roof, the rustling of leaves, howling wind, and gushing rain water in the gutters.

"Do you hear that?", Dylan asks. "It's the wind... it's talking to me."

We humor him, as we would any child, "Oh yeah? What's it saying?"

He then looks at us arrogantly and condescendingly- "I don't know. I don't speak wind."

He turns back to his plate and continues on with his meal.

With that, we all pretty much just shut the f*ck up because the kid is right... he totally doesn't speak wind and neither do we.

You just can't treat em like kids anymore.

My Turn