Nuptuals, DVDs, & Mexican Food

aka Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday.

The clock is ticking and the days are marked off the calendar. 3 days til moving day and i don't feel different at all. I do, however, feel the pressure of trying to get as much done before i have to leave the city.

Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Koppe. =)
The wedding on Tuesday was a hoot and half- just a whole lot of fun.
Everyone was dolled up which always makes these shmancy functions interesting. Incriminating photos of those wonderful adolescent years are always something to look forward to. Best of all, creating NEW incriminating photos with drunk friends will always be memorable. A good camera and awesome friends are a must at every wedding reception. It's the simplest formula for success.

DVD shopping on Wednesday went well. I would have opted for more independent flicks, but maybe those will come around next time. I did get my stack of TV shows, which i'm very happy about. I haven't seen movies or watched any of my shows for so long. It's about time i get up to date with them.

Taking photos of food is a lot harder than i thought it would be. Thank God it's not my job and i didn't have anything to do with it. What i did have something to do with though was the consumption of the said photographed grub. 3 burritos, 2 tacos, a plate of nachos, and carne asada fries later... i feel like i can do without Mexican food for a while. But wow, it was totally worth it.
Check out Baja Mexican Cantina at Greenbelt 3 for that fix of authentic cantina Mexican food.



My last gig tomorrow. *sigh*
Look out weekend... coz here i come.

NOt a WiNK

Insomnia. is not my friend.
It gives me ridiculous eyebags. I feel completely drained. I go about my day like a mortified zombie. It's not good for my skin.
Sometimes, i can be completely exhausted and not sleep a wink. That's what happens when your brain is working on overdrive.
I don't wanna be hooked on meds though. Alcohol before bed? Too alcoholic even for me. Narcotics with a 5 year old around is so not even right.

Hmm... maybe it just means i need to be more productive. Good productive.
I hope i hold up- i have to go to a wedding today. I love weddings. No really, i seriously do. Faith in love is wonderful. Lack of sleep is absolutely NOT.

*grumble*

Get it?

i don't know where to start. I don't know what to think. I was gonna write on here and just keep going. See where my mind was taking me and what was really going through my head. Apparently, i'm not ready to share it with the world. Everybody has good days. Everyone has shitty ones. Even when you think you're alone, you're really not. Everybody struggles. It's okay to be sad sometimes. It's normal. I was thinking of cracking open a bottle of wine at 3 in the afternoon. That's not normal. I need to see the new Harry Potter movie. I need a movie buddy for that. I wanna talk to my boyfriend. He's unreachable at the moment. I wanna go look for things i can use for the new apartment. It's raining outside, i don't wanna go out. I wanna eat out. I don't know where to go though. I'm really indecisive sometimes. I wanna start packing... but i don't. I'm lazy. I know i will panic at the very last moment and i know i'll be forgetting some things. I should really get on it. I don't know why i can't start packing. I have a lot to put in boxes. I canceled my despedida today. I wonder how that would have turned out though. When you love someone, they say you have to let them go. To what extent does this phrase hold true? When you miss someone so much that it physically hurts, does that mean there's something wrong with you? You would think that giving it time would be the solution... only to find out that the more time passes, the more it actually hurts. If you let go of your problem and have it taken care of... does that guarantee less pain? It seems like a lose-lose situation to me. I need a book to read. Reading books is a good escape because i get to live somewhere else. My mind takes me away and i jump into the pages like i knew the characters if i wasn't already one of them. It puts my emotions on pause. Until, that is, i run into a scenario in the story that totally fits the description of something i'm going through. It's interesting to see how other people would deal with a situation. You wonder if you would do the exact same thing or something not even remotely close. Whatever floats your boat, right? It's different for everybody. Priorities vary for everyone. That's understandable. Fat free yogurt tastes like regular yogurt to me. I found out last week that soy milk is disgusting for some people... but i love the stuff. I'm leaving in 6 days and this move is synonymous to freedom. My life as i know it will slowly transform into how i've always wanted it to be. Some people will look at me and wonder why i even thought of choosing this path and i will smile to myself and know that the simplicity of this all is what makes me happy. I will be content knowing that i have no restrictions and i'm allowed to be me. I am free to wander around and discover what truly makes me happy and what it is that makes me ME. I will care less about certain things that i made an effort for in the city but really didn't mean anything to me. I don't have to put up with false pretenses and the slate is wiped clean. I love this place as much as i hate it. But i honestly do think that it's time to leave. I've had enough. This isn't for me. I think i've known that for a really long time now. I just had to do what i had to do. Simple as that. I have a secret. Everyone has a secret. And i think that if you look deep down inside and figure out what your deepest darkest secret is- it'll tell you exactly what kind of person you are. Everything else you do is for show, a front, a cover up of who you really are. Typical way to conform to society. That's the reason why you keep it a secret isn't it? Bottom line, you just don't want anyone to know. You can come up with a million reasons as to why it can't be revealed, that's fine. Keep on making excuses. I think if everyone came clean with their secrets, the world would be fucked up but shit would make more sense; and there would be clarity but a lot of hurt people. A lot of very hurt people. I wish pride wasn't such a huge factor in people's lives. It would make the world a whole lot more pleasant. Less competing and hating. More compliments and understanding. I don't understand why it's so much easier to do bad than it is to work up the courage to do the right thing. What sucks even more is when you find out you did the right thing only to realize that the wrong thing had a much bigger pay off. Life is full of jokes. I wanna try living a day making no sense of anything at all whatsoever. Go against the rules, let go of inhibitions. I bet i'd make a lot of people mad. People trust me, i would never do that. I haven't been to the gym since i've been sick before my birthday. I should cancel my membership already. Do people really have the incapability to understand or are they just pretending? Or is it ignorance that gets in the way? or are we all just that different? i hate mood swings. They ruin people's days. Lack of communication is annoying too. Miscommunication is worse. People should never send messages when they're mad. They regret it later on. Overly happy people come across as fake. It's irritating and contagious at the same time. I give up on educating carbon copy clubheads- they think 50cent falls under the category of good music and Busta Rhymes is underground. I'm aware that i've had terrible sets and that i'm not the best DJ there is- i'll be the first to admit it, actually. I don't care if people think i suck. I still have fun regardless. Besides, i also know i have good gigs and that there are people that appreciate what i do. You can't have everything. It's only right. What happens when you lose the thing that makes you happy? Do you hold onto it for as long as you can or do you let it go and leave it behind because the past is the past and it's pointless to dwell on it. How do you deal with a really good day and know that that moment is gone and it will never ever happen again? Are there more sad people than happy people? Does love make as many people miserable as it does happy? Decision making kicks my ass. I guess there's a reason why i'm so fickle sometimes. I don't know what's right. I don't know what's wrong. I don't know if what i want is a good thing... or if it'll turn my life into a living hell. I also don't know if what i'm feeling is even rational.
Get it? Yeah, you're not supposed to.

Arbitrary Mind Picks #12

1) Expensive lesson learned: When you stick a wad of cash into your pocket and you think to yourself or feel as if it might slip out sometime during the course of the evening- take action and transfer it to a more secure location. Chances are, your gut feeling was right. Better safe than sorry, right? *sigh*

2) Nothing makes me happier faster than Dylan's creative process. The kid never ceases to amaze me. Oh, and when you're patting your baby on the bum (like you used to when he/she was actually still a baby) and he/she starts to giggle instead of fall silently asleep... it means he/she really isn't a baby anymore. No matter how long you wanna hold on to that thought for. The toddler years started 3 years ago. Get with the program.

3) The standards you set for yourself should never be part of a compromise, and if it is, make sure the trade-off is fair. You are what you think you're worth. Nobody can tell you otherwise.

4) There are no rules. Do what makes you happy... and if you think twice about it or are guilt stricken afterwards, then you're probably doing something wrong. Life has no limits. You put that on yourself.

5) If you don't smile at least once a day, there's seriously something wrong with your life. Get it together and do something about it.

6) Knocked Up was a funny movie.

7) Chocolate flavored soy milk is a godsend.

8) I REALLY need to pack.

9) Most memorable request from last night's gig:
guy: Hey, can you... play something good?
me: ok. I'm sorry. I wasn't aware i was playing crap all night.
guy: Play 50 Cent or something...
me: 50 Cent? is that your definition of good?
guy: yeah. He's good. Right?
me: yeah... NO.

10) I'm looking forward to decorating and having a place of my own. I'm looking forward to living my life freely and doing the things that i want to do. I'm excited for the change. I'm excited for the move. I love the idea of living how i want to and i'm happy that i'm finally getting the break that i've been waiting for for so long. I can't wait!!!

7 days to go.

Who owns the fish?

This brainteaser, reportedly written by Einstein is difficult and Einstein said that 98% of the people in the world could not figure it out. Which percentage are you in?

There are five houses in a row in different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The five owners drink a different drink, smoke a different brand of cigar and keep a different pet, one of which is a Walleye Pike. The question is— who owns the fish? Hints:
1. The Brit lives in the red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the left of the white house.
5. The green house owner drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Malls keeps birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhills.
8. The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
9. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
10. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the one who smokes Dunhills.
12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Princes.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.

There are no tricks, pure logic will get you the correct answer. And yes, there is enough information to arrive at the one and only correct answer. If you get the correct answer, congratulations, you are one of the exclusive group of 121,348,731 people in the world who can.

***with the help of pen & paper, i figured it out in 19 minutes. =D i even clapped to myself and *yay*ed with relief when i found out my answer was correct. haha

Can you figure it out?

Purple Skies

"There is magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits."

There is something comforting about the familiarity of it all.
11 days and counting.

it Pours

It always seems to rain like crazy when i have plans to do something out of the norm. It's part of the irony of life, i guess.

I watch the rain come down and wonder if i can still play in it. It used to be so much fun. We would hope that it would rain for hours. We wanted it to get stronger. The more it came down the better. A drizzle was disappointing. When the rain stopped, so did our excitement.
I wanna be able to dance in the rain again.
Oh, and i will...

cLuttEr

I have been listening to music, reminiscing about old songs, and i've been singing out loud.
I've been looking at various photos, i've been taking photos, and i've had photos taken of myself.
I have been reading random musings, i've been intrigued by so many stories, yet i haven't written much lately... anything of substance, anyway.
I've been daydreaming about decorating, and i've been looking up furniture and decor ideas on the world wide web.
I've been drinking a lot of wine, savoring my food, and appreciating conversation.

I am absolutely living.
This is my life.

I have been doing everything i've been wanting to do. Everything at my own will. I come and go as i please, no obligations and no guilt.
This is how it should be and this is how it is.

Then again, preoccupying myself with life is a great way to distract me from the task at hand that just sits there and waits.
Packing. I really need to get at it.
It's just that when i look at all the things i have to sort out and go through, and all the boxes that i need to fill... i am overwhelmed with exhaustion that hasn't even started yet. Do i really have this much to bring? Do i really have to sort all this out now? Do i really have to do this?
If i could magically transport all my belongings from Point A to Point B it would make my life just that much better.
My procrastinating ass keeps telling me that i'll start tomorrow.
The thought of having to do it gives me anxiety attacks.

I remember having to pack for Ian. All those boxes. All of his things. All by myself.

I'm packing up 10 years of my life and other miscellaneous nonsense i brought down with me to begin with. I'm packing up my 5 year old's 5 years of life and all the toys that he's attached to that belonged to me, my brothers and my sister- and also his own. I am re-packing Ian's boxes that i dug through and taking some of his things with us as well.

It's time. My life needs to go in a box sometime this week.

Dream

"Listen to the Color of Your Dreams..." -John Lennon

Girls Around the World

~ * ~

I wasn't much of a girl's girl growing up. I think if anything, the girls really didn't like me much. I was very active with sports and such so i got along with the guys fine. I would hang out with a few girls every now and then but i was never really established in a clique or anything. I was always the butterfly that wandered from one group to another.

It was only later on in my teenage life that i realized how important it was to have girl friends. I guess i could say that it came at the right time... and there isn't anything like having really good girl friends. Guys are great, but girls will always get girls.

In the past decade, i've found myself in a core group quite a few times. I've gone from high school chicks, to clubbing cliques, a smoker's union, rebellious dancers, a bunch of alcoholics, insane fighters, movers and motivators, and a bundle of too much fun.
It has been nothing short of awesome.

I'm leaving in 21 days.
For the first time in my adult life, i'm moving to live elsewhere. It's a very surreal feeling- having to be the one to leave and make the excuses as to why i have to do it. I'm usually at the receiving end of these excuses.

Girls are catty and insecure and cruel and possessive and sneaky and bitchy and conniving and plastic and mean. Maybe not all of us are... but majority tend to fall somewhere along those lines. It's hard to find chicks to vibe with. That's just the truth. But when you find the right ones, just like it is with everything else in life, it makes all the difference in the world.

My ladies are spread all over the globe.
Canada, London, Australia, Switzerland, Seattle, Guam... and (now that i'll be leaving) Manila.
"We've all come so far.
Starting families, building careers, falling in love... lives that were intertwined at one point, branched out to go on with their own. We don't talk everyday or write each other every week... but i know the love is there."
[In A Nutshell, June 11, 2007 entry]

I guess what i'm trying to get at is- dang, i'm really gonna miss my gurls.

***
This post happened because Girl Time yesterday was absolutely awesome. I'm gonna miss nights like that... nothing like shopping, a good dinner, wine over great conversation and a lot of laughter with incredible company to soothe the soul.

Time Lapse

After making mistakes over and over again, you'd think that you'd have learned your lesson by now, right? So why the hell do i still keep waking up with fat ass hangovers??
- well, because the events that lead up to the hangover were totally worth it. Aw shucks, spoken like a true alcoholic.

I woke up today well rested and fresh. I thought to myself, "ah, the start of another week. I get to chill for a few days." only to realize that... wait, it's NOT Monday- it's freakin' Friday! I have work tonight and the weekend JUST started!

I guess i'm so used to nursing the worst of my hangovers on a Sunday that i automatically assumed that my mere Thursday hangover was actually my Sunday recovery. I'm losing my mind. I know the mountains will do me some good.

Ok, so from thinking that it was Monday just an hour ago to realizing i have work tonight and it's actually the weekend... i should get my priorities straight and work out my schedule for today.

Let the weekend begin.

If There's Anything I Can't Stand...

*The PEOPLE Edition

it's cranky waiters or waitresses. They totally ruin the experience and it affects their performance. And then they get mad when you don't leave a tip when you're done. psh! You get what you deserve, remember that.

it's those people that stand around to assist you at the department store that don't know what they're doing. They literally stand around all day (sometimes even conversing amongst themselves), and when you approach them to look for something they either say, "Wala" (none) or "Out of stock" without even checking. You walk around for an extra 15 minutes only to find what you're looking for!! Ugh!! Do your job!! Is it that hard??! If you don't like this job, look for another one where you'd be more competent at. I feel like you were put on this planet to make my life a bit more complicated.

it's cab drivers that complain the entire way to your destination. Since we're on this topic...
it's cab drivers that

• ask for extra money AFTER you've already jumped in. Waste of my damn time.
  
• ask for a flat rate when you've already moved and you could have easily taken the dude behind him that would have totally used the meter.
  
• take the long route because they THINK you don't know where you're going or what you're doing.
• don't know where they're going- seriously, and you took this job??
• play their music too loud like they're deaf. And then get annoyed when you POLITELY ask them to turn it down.
  
• smoke cigarettes while you're in there. Dude, i don't wanna feel like i'm already AT the club.
  
• don't have change. And then they get mad when i tell them i'm gonna get off first to get change. Yo, that's not my responsibility. I'd gladly get out paying you 10-20 pesos less. That's YOUR problem.
  
• ask too many questions. I'm not doing an interview. I like my quiet cab time!
  
• talk to you the whole way to where you're going... umm... just drive!
• insert themselves into your conversation with a friend. wtf?

(in fairness, the last two can be entertaining sometimes. SOMETIMES. Like once every year when i'm seriously drunk or utterly bored.)

it's street kids that beg, asking for money or food, and if you turn them away, they curse at you or wish you ill/dead. Seriously?? (i'm not kidding) Oh, and then there are the ones that "wash your car" and when you wave at them not to because your car is perfectly clean and you don't want them to use their dirty ass rags and detergent on it, they pour that soapy shit all over your windows anyway. Your car ends up more filthy than before they started. Punks, i swear.

it's those inconsiderate smokers at the club that hold their smokes like they're ready to put someone's eye out. Or they walk around with it turned out when they very well know the club is jam packed. Or they dance with that thing flailing around like it's a damn glow stick! I have so many marks from these retards. If you're a smoker- learn how to hold it properly! There's etiquette for that shit, you know??!

it's those girls that stare at other girls like they know they're better than you or think they're the shit. I'm talking the snooty girl with the glare. Ahem, girrrrrrl... you're not all that. Unless you're really just a bitch. Then by all means, you do what you do.

it's those war freaks always out to look for a fight. We're not in high school anymore. Get over your insecurities. You're killing everyone else's buzz. Shit starter...

it's the loud neighbors. I'm saying "neighbor" in every aspect of the word. If you're in a restaurant and they're sitting at the booth behind you. If you're at a cafe and they're sitting at the table right next to you. If you're living in a condo and they're right next door. I'm talking about the ones that have the tendency to talk 8 decibels louder than everyone else. I can understand if you're excited (and even that should only last a few minutes!)... but respect everyone else's space. We're all trying to have a conversation and/or concentrate. Just be considerate is all i'm saying.

it's them "talkers" at movies. Holy hell... just shut up!

it's that dude at the club that can't take a hint... because he's too cocky for his own good. There's a reason why you can't get a decent girl. You should be able to point it out by now...

it's those moochers that take hella drinks from your bottle... but will never put out even a little bit when the bill comes around. He'll eat 3/4 of your fries, and won't offer a centavo... no matter how many times he's done it. He'll eat 3 slices out of the pizza... and just watch the rest of you pull money together when it's time to foot the bill.
On top of all that- he comes from a very well off family. So no excuses there- you're just a moocher. From the words of Fergie, "If you aint got no money, take your broke ass home".

it's the "friends" that'll take drinks out of your bottle... and grab some more to give to their friends. And then sit at your table and make room for their friends. And then they'll party at your table and take up precious amounts of space without introducing you to any of their friends. And then they leave you with a fat ass check... but not even a "Thank you".
Oh, and then they tag you on an ugly, awkward moment, caught-on-camera-eyes-half-open photo on Facebook the next day. MotherF@%^*!!!
That, my friends, is moocher-deluxe.
At least his/her friends think he/she's cool.
Psh!

it's that asshole that spits or blows his snot out of a moving jeepney. Jesus.

it's those impatient dipshits that don't know how to line up... or act like you're blind and you didn't see them just cut the line.
Ooooh, and to add onto that, it's those inconsiderate biznatches that cut the line in the bathroom because their friend is up next... umm... we ALL need to pee! That's why we're there!!! GET IN LINE! Learn some damn manners. If you really wanna pee together, get at the END of the freakin' line. That's just rude...

it's the lazy security guards that DON'T check your bag when it's open, but to spite you, hassle you only when it's closed.
1) you're just not doing your job.
2) you're on a power trip and you need to stop.
3) if people die, it's YOUR fault. Get it together.

it's those corrupt MMDA traffic people that stop cars when they "break the rules". It's like, dude... I'm in here and the meter is running. Hurry the hell up. If you're gonna take the money, take it already... we ALL know what goes down. If you're really NOT, then write up the ticket already. Just HURRY THE HELL UP. No, i'm not gonna help the cab driver pay his way outta this one. Are you seriously whacked out?

it's those damn drivers that stop to look at an "accident" even if it was just a scratch or a car that stalled in the middle of the highway. You're backing up the entire freeway here!!! There's nothing to see... it's a highway! Keep moving!

It's that guy that mops the floor and does it without a care in the world that he ends up mopping your toes too. Eww. Seriously, you have to do that now?? And is that really how it's done?? Please...

It's that dazed pedestrian that crosses the street without thinking, right when the light turns green for the vehicle... and then they get mad when you abruptly hit the breaks or honk out of surprise.
That, and the pedestrian that walks like they're in a slow motion segment in a Michael Bay film and take foooooooooooreeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeer to cross when you have every right to move. Extra bonus points for if they glance at you amidst their stroll. You deserve to be run over.

it's CLOWNS. They're not funny. At all. They're only scary, if anything.

Wow.
Okay, i'm done.
I have a lot more, but i think i should stop right here.
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.

Step 1.

Begin.

So... i'll be going to Baguio next week to:
1) finally start looking for a place to live in.
2) get Dylan settled into school- get the interview and what nots over with and finalize all that.

...and it starts. I see the changes slowly materializing, subtly coming into form.
Enter nervous excitement and a few butterflies in my stomach.
Here we go.

It's Time for something Fresh

i want one.

Breath In and Breath Out

I can barely remember how it started, but i'm assuming it was out of curiosity. Peer pressure might have had something to do with it, but inevitably, it was my own choice. I could have not started at all, but for some reason, i know that this addiction is just as much a part of me whether i choose to believe it or not.

I bought my first pack of cigarettes from a sari-sari store down the street from my house. I remembered how my mom used to store hers at the pantry at home. I did the same thing, wondering if that's "how it was done".
I started smoking more or less when i started drinking. When i think about it now, i think i would slap my 15 year old brother if i caught him smoking or if he came crawling home drunk off his ass. Kids. What were we thinking? They only get younger these days too. *shaking head*

I've always been a social smoker. I was never one to light up on my own at home (unless i was utterly stressed or seriously working on something). If i went out once a week, that would be the only time i would ever have a cigarette. If i went out everyday, however, you can bet i was lighting up consistently, consuming at least a pack every other day.

When i quit smoking because i was pregnant, i had to walk around with a bag of candy and bubble gum. Every single time i felt the urge to inhale carbon monoxide or hydrogen cyanide i would simply pop a sweet in my mouth and forget about the craving. Eventually, the smell repulsed me and smoking was no longer an issue- only that the smell of it pissed me off resulting in endless arguments with Dylan's Dad about quitting... which, of course, never happened. In the end, he got me to start smoking again... a smart ploy to avoid facing his addiction. I had already been smoke free for 18 months.

After the shooting incident in 2005, my smoking was at an all-time high. I got up to 2 packs a day. I would go to 7/11 or Ministop and buy 4 packs at a time. Not only did i smoke more, i had also switched from Lights to Reds. How i ever managed to do that- i have no idea.
The less stressed i got, the less smoking i did. Eventually, i calmed down and Ian convinced me to minimize on my smoking. It would help the healing process of the wound a whole lot more if i slowed down, he said. I believed him. I switched back to Lights and smoked an average of 3-4 packs a week.

Once, Ian and i decided to quit smoking at the same time. We lasted 4 days and called our neighbor to bum a stick. It was quite pathetic. We went on again about quitting... this time he succeeded, and me? well, i totally cheated.
He's been cigarette free since May 2006.
I've quit smoking about 6x. Unsuccessfully, obviously.

There's something about drinking and smoking that go hand in hand.
There's something about having a cigarette with your coffee.
There's nothing like smoking while chatting with your girls.
Smokers look forward to that cigarette after they eat.
Nothing beats morning balcony talk with coffee at hand and a cigarette to start your day.

All of that might sound stupid- but smokers know what i'm talking about and it makes complete sense.
Honestly, i love my cigarettes.
I am a damn smoker.

I've been watching anti-smoking ads and browsing through anti-smoking campaigns. I've been reading about all the side-effects and the terrible things that smoking can do to you.
It says it right there on the friggin' pack- SMOKING KILLS.
I've seen all the different interpretations they have for smoking- murder, suicide, slow death, torture, etc.
But for some reason, it still bothers me none.
I've had relatives that have died from cancer. Both sides of the family. I should be scared shitless, to be honest with you.

Yes, i am on the path to quitting smoking for good. It's not just a habit- it's a lifestyle. People's lives are driven based on whether you're a smoker or not.
If it's hot out- dress lightly. There's a possibility you won't be allowed to smoke indoors where you're going.
Know where you're going- if it's somewhere remote, buy an extra pack NOW to avoid stress later on.
Can we smoke there? No? well, i don't wanna go then. Well, fine. We don't have to stay long, right?
Don't forget your lighter.
There's a lot more... but i'll stop right there to avoid sounding like a complete moron. I realize that sometimes, this addiction doesn't fall too far off from stupid. (No offense)

But aside from that, there are also the health issues to think about. There's the anti-aging thing to think about. There's also the- you have a child that needs you.
There's no use weighing out the pros and cons. Everybody knows that a smoke-free life is ultimately better. The only question is- are you ready to give up that lifestyle?

• about 1/3 of smokers die from a smoking-related disease. That's one smoker every 10 seconds.
  
• for long term smokers- your life expectancy can be 8-12 years shorter than a non-smoker
• there are 4,700 toxic substances found in cigarettes.
• 68 are confirmed to cause cancer
  
• similar chemicals can be found in rat poison, batteries, nail polish removers, insecticides, & embalming fluid just to name a few.
  
• inhaling smoke kills alveoli (air sacks in your lungs where oxygen is transferred into your blood). Alveoli don't grow back so when you smoke, you permanently damage your lungs.
  
• more people die from smoking than from vehicle accidents, murders, suicides, alcohol, AIDS, illegal drugs, falls, and poisoning combined.
  

Why wouldn't i want to quit, right?
I can do this.
I leave you now with one of the cooler anti-smoking ads i came across. Saw it as a commercial before i watched a DVD and it really made an impression.



aw man, i need a cigarette.

I got my Fix

Completely unplanned and one of those spur-of-the-moment kind of things, i had a "birthday dinner" last night at John and Yoko and i finally got my salmon fix. *whew* Thank God, because the shakes were just about to set in.
The food was great. Of course, i can never have enough sushi... i'd eat there again tonight if i could.

The weekend is over and i'll have to admit, this year's birthday bonanza was the best i could have hoped for.

• Good people and really really good times.
• No evil hangovers to speak of.
• No retardation-moments that i would want to try to forget
• Satisfied cravings
• Never-ending laughter
• Great memories
• Awesome Photos
• Hella jokes!!
  

It was my definition of a really great celebration.

Friday:

• My friends ordered me a Giant Pizza. 35 inches, it was bigger than the table. I loved it!!!
  
• Open Bar for all my guests from 10pm til midnight.
  
• My friend B_cal played a set for me, which i really appreciated because i didn't want to play.
  
• The most unexpected guests showed up and it was a great surprise!
  
• Everyone was in such good spirits. The vibe was awesome!
• I took pictures of everyone all night. We have some good ones. Probably not smart to post it on the internet though. =p
  
• We left at around 5am. By far, the fastest time ever passed at Tabu.
  

Saturday:

• Dinner at John & Yoko @ Greenbelt 5. The Food was excellent.
  
• Drinks @ St. Jude for a July 4th Celebration. We even got to play with poppers. That kept us entertained for a while.
  
• Table at Manor, lots of drinks, tons of pictures and loads of fun.
  
• "Breakfast" @ Something Fishy. More jokes and more pictures.
• Home at 5am

***

My birthday Pizza was... Ginormous!
(i wasn't joking when i said "giant")

The Ladies


Baguio Folk


P.S.F.X. -1

Live Entertainment.

You see that guy in red, farthest one to the left?
Yeah,
We don't know him...
LOL

Thank you to everyone who made my day very memorable and just all-around awesome.
Thank you for those who were able to make it out. Thank you for the honorary shots made all over the world. Thank you for the greetings and warm wishes. Thank you for the good vibes and positive energy. If you even just so much as thought of me, THANK YOU.
Life is good and i am blessed.
It's a wonderful start to 26. This year's gonna be good, i know it. =)

Queen For The Day

Today is the only day out of the entire year i can do whatever i want and virtually get away with it. I can make demands. Boss people around. I tolerate no complaints. My requests have to be met. Nobody can pester or bother me. Best of all, i can whine and sulk if i don't get what i want.
364 days out of the entire year i don't ever get to do any of that.
Today, i am the Queen for the Day.
It's my 26th birthday.

My mom has prepared dinner- food of my choice, of course. It's family tradition. We always have dinner with the whole family on someone's birthday.

Dylan has to sing "Happy Birthday" for me whenever i ask him to. I don't wanna torture the kid, but so far, he's already had to sing it for me 3x.

Ian gave me the "you can reach me whenever you like today" card. I'm not gonna use it, lest i disrupt his study routine, but i guess it's the thought that counts.

I have invited all my friends to my place of work tonight for a get together where everyone will be there for the sole purpose of celebrating my day of birth (that, and there's free booze). I'm not huge on birthday parties, but there's something about seeing folks that give a crap about you gather together to celebrate YOU that makes me feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside.

Contrary to the years that have passed, i will NOT be celebrating the full week.
1) i'm over it.
2) i can't handle it
3) i'm sick
4) it makes no sense anymore- and when that's happened... it's done.

Looking forward to tonight!

It's Gotta Be Immunities

When a baby is born, no matter how fragile he/she seems, their bodies were designed with incredible precision. There is absolutely no greater miracle than that of making another human being.

We are given a responsibility and we try to fulfill every need to the best of our abilities. But there's only so much we can do.
Mothers are finicky about strangers touching their babies or relatives having to wash up first before insisting on being anywhere near the child. Alcohol is a must- the rubbing kind, of course. If you have a cold or a cough, don't even think of coming anywhere near the vicinity.

The germs rule applies to everybody. Everybody, that is, except the mother. To an extent, anyway- i mean, we can't go clean the bathroom and then play with the baby's gums straight after.
But when the mother has a cough or a cold or a fever, generally the baby has developed immunities that allow them to kick it without getting infected. Personally, i think that's a brilliant design.

I can't say the same thing the other way around though.

If that little baby has a cold... expect to get sick soon after.

My stubborn self with my made-up rules and personal beliefs still think that there is no way my own child would do me any harm. If they have immunities, well, i sure as hell do too. Scrap what the doctors and medical books say... like, what do they know, right? (haha. that was a joke, by the way.)

Dylan's been sick for the past 2 days. I still think he's adorable so i will lean in for the smothering amount of kisses and insist i sleep next to him, and i honestly don't mind when he breathes on my face. I will share my water with him if he asks, and use his spoon to eat my food.

That virus had a laugh because it laid a fat ass fever on me early this morning. Just for kicks, it threw in the sniffles and a dirty cough too.
Yes, i'm SICK. ILL. Unwell. Ailing. Feeling under the weather.

ONE DAY before my birthday.
ugh.

Lesson learned: i don't have immunity. =(

Arbitrary Mind Picks #11

1) It's JULY already??!?!?!?
geeze. This Time Lapse thingamajig seems to happen to me a lot.

2) I've figured out that my capability to Daydream has a lot to do with my state of contentment. I know nothing beats experience and there's nothing like being there to witness things first-hand... but i've been a dreamer since i can remember and sometimes, real life just feels like a dream and my imagination seems to take over as my reality.
There are so many limitations to what i can do because of who/what i am. I know part of the process is believing in the achievement and dreaming big, but sometimes the hit of reality gets the better of me and sometimes i just settle for my imagination.
Some people may view that as sad... but it's really alright by me.
It has nothing to do with my goals or my standards... it just has a lot to do with how i feel about my life. So far, it's worked just fine.

3) This quirk of not being able to eat by my lonesome is starting to get the better of me.
I could just get over my stupid fear and just go out there and eat by myself... then again, if it were that easy, it wouldn't be a fear, now would it?

4) Does having a quirk deem you normal or out of the norm? If there was a ratio between people with quirks and people without, what would it be? Because i have plenty and i have a friend who can't even think of ONE. So which one of us is the one with the missing chromosome? (i'm joking)

5) I'm turning 26 in 2 days. I'm moving in 4 weeks.
My Heart be still.