An Unexpected Chill

It's been raining for the past 2 days. There were reports of landslides somewhere outside the city. The weather forecast for the next 4 days is lightning storms and rain showers. This is quite unexpected given that it's right smack in the middle of summer. El Nino, at that. Mother Nature is quite confused.

I'm hoping the sun will make an appearance tomorrow and gladly grace us with its presence. However, we are loving the unexpected chill this weather is giving us. As the fog blankets the mountain and the breeze moves the trees, it's a refreshing break from the summer heat.

Dylan's guests have arrived safely, the party has pretty much begun and this weekend should be nothing but exciting and fun. Dylan's in love with his God sister and is looking forward to celebrating his 6th birthday tomorrow.

Apollo, hear our plea.

“I am, as I’ve said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.”
— Billy Joel

Arbitrary Mind Picks #57

1. The apartment is clean just in time for the arrival of Dylan's guests tomorrow.

2. He pooped out the marble he swallowed last Saturday (by the way).

3. It rained all afternoon and Baguio is back to its nice and chilly climate.
It's a bit odd for it to be raining in the middle of summer... and i'm hoping the sun is out for the party on Saturday.

4. I've re-rediscovered my love for my music. That's right, i've discovered it again, once again. I go through this music phase and then i get caught up in the quiet. I'm happy to report that music has once again fascinated me... and it's such a great feeling.

5. Looking forward to the vacation in a few weeks. How i miss sleeping in...

“Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping … waiting … and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir … open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us … guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love … the clarity of hatred … the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we’d be truly dead.”

— Joss Whedon

“Because the best love song is written with a broken heart”

— Carpenters

“I can’t justify looking for someone else to love knowing you exist. If I was surrounded by everyone in the world, I’d still be lonely without you right in front of me.
No matter where I’m at or who I’m with, I will only ever need you.”

~Boy Meets Love

Simplicity is Key

For some reason, it totally caught my attention.
Simple, yet straight to the point. I like it.

Me: You're not a baby anymore! You're turning 6 years old!
Dylan: I'm not old...

“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.”

— Jane Austen

I miss/love the 90's.

Cover Girl

by: ~gartier
on 1000 covers.
Rock-N-Doll Series '09

“After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.”
— Sophia Loren

Arbitrary Mind Picks #56

1. I've said it before, i'll say it again- I am so happy i live here!!!

2. My tan is fading and it's fading quick.

3. This apartment needs to be spic and span for this weekend's festivities. Why i'm still sitting on my couch typing this out is beyond me.

4. Those cars that blast out music of Election Candidates' Jingles are enough for me to think- "Just because of that, i seriously wouldn't vote for you..."
On that note- for some reason, there's something about the upcoming elections that makes me feel a tad nervous.

5. My feet were firmly planted on the ground just a few hours ago... and all of a sudden i was shook off balance. Figuratively speaking. There are days i just don't know what my ideals are and i begin to battle myself on my own beliefs. Yes, it appears to be "one of them days".

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
— Joan Crawford

Fresh

Dope FedEx Ad.

3.5" Floppy Disc Post-it Notepad


Apple's 1st computer, Apple I.
(I'm not even joking)

[*photo credit: Freshbump]

Artistic Alphabet

I've been thinking of using the alphabet as some kind of interior decoration. I mean, it's appealing, it could mean so many different things, and there are so many ways to play with it. Plus, the fact that Dylan's learning to master his ABC's, it's the perfect candidate to grace the space of my bare walls.

Maybe some time soon.

“Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.”

— Emily Giffin

“We learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten. Boys are stupid.”

— Anonymous

Arbitrary Mind Picks #55

1. As much as i complain about not being able to find anything to wear, i really do like a lot of my clothes still. Much to my dismay, apparently, so do a lot of moths.

2. You know what i hate? I hate waiting for a cab patiently under the blazing sun... and 20 minutes in, an old lady (or whatever- an annoying teenager, a guy feeling himself a little too much, etc) strolls into view from right outta nowhere and hails the cab (that was obviously MINE!) that was heading in my direction... (bwiset)

3. Highly recommended, i've discovered Ted Talks. It's all i've been watching... and for once, i feel like i spend time on the internet becoming smarter. It sure beats watching those Japanese game shows on Youtube (although, that can be a great way to pass time... depending on my mood, i guess).

4. Yet another trip down to the big city. I'm supposed to leave tonight... and it just occurred to me that i haven't even bought my ticket yet.
As much as i'm dreading melting in the city heat, this trip is a little different... i get to see one of my best friends try on her wedding dress(!!!)... i just really hope i don't start to cry.

5. 4 more weeks of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I certainly didn't expect to feel this way so early on in the process. Because in reality... there are 12 more years of school left. *sigh*)

Reminiscent

The last time i saw these set of pictures was in May of 2000.
If they could speak... wow, the stories they would tell you.

We started hanging out there in 1998. If i remember correctly, it was newly constructed and around the way from school. It was a good location and majority of the time, we pretty much owned the place. Yeah, imagine that... a group of unruly teenagers. The staff probably thought we were retarded.

A gin and tonic was priced at 45 pesos. In 12 years the price has jacked up 5 pesos. It's a 50 peso drink now and it still tastes exactly the same. A sip was enough to slap my consciousness back to being 15 years old. I could hear the voices of those who were constantly around me. Everything was exactly as it was 12 years ago... exactly. It was almost like an out-of-body experience and quite surreal, to tell you the truth.

Such an eerie experience it is to visit the places from your past.
How entertaining it is to relive certain moments and remember that person you were a lifetime and a half ago.
It's incredible to see just how far along from then you have come.

The Little Prince

Last night, during our last waking hour, Dylan managed to lose the kitchen scissors (which he now says a ghost is using it). We searched the whole apartment to no avail. During our search, however, we found old chocolate melted and smeared on the couch cushions.

I sent him to the room and explained to him, that since he's been told before, that i had to take away some privileges due to his behavior. I took away the use of his DVDs, the internet, and no horseback riding until the weekend. The obvious happens- he starts to cry. He starts to cry a lot, actually.

With all the emotion a 5 year old could muster up, he stares longingly outside the window, tears streaming down his face and he sobs, "No horseback riding anymore... no TV anymore... no internet anymore... I want to leave my mom. I want to move back to Manila".
I tell him he can go, the door is always open, and he can do whatever pleases him. He turns to me and says he wants to stay with me.

(I'll have to admit that even though it was said out of anger and sadness, his words stung a little bit.)

Today, he's aware of the rules. Imaginative play only. He does well. He always has. Dylan has no qualms with keeping himself entertained. But as the day wears on, more toys make their way to the living room. And more toys. And more. Dinner is done and it looks like an army of toddlers have had their way in my living room. I call my 5 year old's attention and tell him it's time to fix his toys. He needs to clean up because he needs to be in the bath shortly.
He lets out a long and exasperated sigh before he sadly announces, "I want my nice Mommy. I want my old Mommy back..."
When he was done (finally), he lets me know by saying, "All done, your highness".

Honestly, where do kids learn all this?

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Shut Up & Hold On

I dashed out of my front door and briskly walked the distance from the condo to the corner where i usually wait for a cab. I always give myself approximately 15 minutes waiting time to flag down a taxi. To my surprise, an empty cab had just pulled up in front of me and i hopped in. I give him our point of destination and with that, we were off.

He was a young driver, his seat leaned back and his hands casually maneuvering the shift. He was driving at some ridiculous speed, overtaking pretty much whatever vehicle we caught up to. He was constantly swerving, and breaking, and accelerating, and swerving some more. I was sitting in the back holding on for dear life lest i prefer being thrown all over the back seat like a rag doll.

We reached an intersection and he jolted to a stop. I look up at the dash board and while i'm thinking, "What's with this guy's driving???" a sign made itself known to me as if screaming, almost. And i thought to myself, "Oh. How convenient."

"Your mind is like a parachute. It only works if it is open."
-Anthony J. D'Angelo

You Know What I'm Saying?

Speak Witch Conviction by Taylor Mali

“If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.”
— Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Love Lockdown

I kept my nail polish on for 3 weeks. Well, just because. (Yeah, ok, i'm too lazy to redo em)
As the polish started to chip off, my left thumbnail coat took the shape of a heart.
Cheap thrill, i know. =)

Arbitrary Mind Picks #54

1. My son swallowed a marble today. He's been procrastinating bathroom time all afternoon. He's gonna have to sooner or later- and when he does... it'll be interesting. There's no way i'm looking for that marble though.

2. I've never been that girl that walks into a room and captures the attention of guys.
Eh. I'm totally okay with that. Hot girls are overrated. haha

3. I have a serious case of wanderlust.

wanderlust |ˈwändərˌləst|
noun
a strong desire to travel.

I am itching to see something new. It's almost unbearable. I don't even know when i felt like this last.

4. Is there a word for itching to play music? Well, whatever it is, i have that.

5. Almost done with my 2nd book this week. Getting lost in a book, no matter how mundane that sounds, can be one of the most exciting experiences.

6. I'm starting to feel like a different person. My life is changing before my very eyes and it's giving me butterflies in the stomach.

[update: Dylan just pooped. No marble. My sister is very nice. lol]

Only 5 more weeks until the end of the school year.
I want to pack a light bag and head to some random sunny destination.
Nothing on the agenda except music, books, sun, food, and drinks.

“A vacation
is having nothing to do
and all day to do it in.”

“Men aren’t stupid, and you don’t need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here’s the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.”

— Unknown

Through His Lens

She sits across from him, at the other end of the long table, immersed in conversation with a friend. She smiles from time to time and knocks her head back in a hearty laugh. She looks at ease and relaxed. Her easygoing presence is mesmerizing. There's something about that girl.

She swigs a beer and flips her hair behind her shoulders. She doesn't stop smiling. She says something funny and everybody erupts in laughter. She coyly retreats behind her hat and ends the laugh with yet another swig. There's a discreet charm about this chick.

She gets up and looks over the snacks laid out. She picks a bag of chips and plops herself onto a seat next to him and they begin a little chat. She's attentive and her interest is sincere. He finds her strikingly interesting. A few minutes in, her attention is diverted to shrieks coming from the other side of the table. Out of curiosity, she asks, "What's going on?". They call her over, and with that, she's lost in another conversation. You can tell she's open, but there's a wave of mystery going on.

She laughs uncontrollably. She abruptly stands up, puts her hands together and covers her face. She walks off the laughter and tries to compose herself. They're all in stitches. They are a vision of happiness and carefree fun. He takes out his camera. He wants to capture these moments. She's so real.

She has this sparkle in her eye. Her smile could light up a thirty story building. Her energy was electric. The fire is glinting copper bouncing off her hair as it dances in the breeze. Her cheeks are rosy from the warmth. Her gentle fingers loosely wrapped around a bottle. She has that gaze that makes you feel special. She's infectious.

She notices him snapping away at her direction. Her face flushed pink as she looked away. Her hair fell forward covering her eyes. He wonders how he never noticed her before. She did a double take and managed to escape a shy smile in his direction. She doesn't like the attention. He can tell it makes her want to hide. She's like this well kept secret.

"Can we see the pictures?" says one of her friends.
"Oh... umm..." he mutters.
The friend manages a peek and notices that they are all candid shots of just one person. Everybody else is out of frame.

Awkward.

Upon waking up this morning...

Me: Good morning, sweetie.
Dylan: Good morning, mommy. Where did you go last night?
Me: Oh, i was at a party.
Dylan: Did they have balloons?

Ouch

A lesson from life.
Caution: I am about to impart wisdom upon you.

Picture this:
You're 13 years old and this guy in school is the talk of the halls. He's about 3 years your senior. He's not an academic geek, but he's smart enough. He plays a sport and he's pretty good. He's got lots of friends and is known to crack a great joke time and again. Yes, he's quite good looking- a nice, boyish charm, some would say. You've been introduced to him once. Some extracurricular activity in school. No, he does not remember you. You pass each other in the hallway, and he doesn't even know you exist.
You admire him from a distance until the day he graduates. You will forever remember the endless amounts of doodles and scribbles of his name on your homework notebook. The smiles you sent his way that went unnoticed. The embarrassing wave that you quickly turned into a gesture to fix your hair. The unspoken words you couldn't mutter when he asked you a question in line at the cafeteria, "Are you in line?"... "uh..gj..m...ny..".
You know you were worth it. Why not you, right?

The good news?
He got drunk and smoked himself out all through college. His teeth are permanently plaque stained. He's gained about 50 pounds and his gut is his biggest accomplishment. His girlfriend wears too much foundation, matches plaid with stripes, and she thinks Britney Spears is God's gift to music.

Ok, that's not great news, but along selfish lines, it's great for you. The good looking jock that everyone loved in high school even though he treated everyone like shit doesn't make it far in life. That's one thing the movies get right. Given, there are a rare few that make it- there's a "Thanks a lot Dad!" to be given credit.
Sure, it's not nice to glorify yourself with other people's short comings... but we all have to agree that it's an awesome ego boost.

That's just the guys though. That chick who won prom queen, senior year?
Yeah, she's still hot. Actually, she's smokin' hot and her husband is a real catch. She just had a baby (who's adorable, btw), pregnancy was the best experience of her life, labor didn't hurt, and she's already back in pre-pregnancy shape! Some say she looks even better. Just check out her photos from the summer they spent in Hawaii on their yacht.

You can't win everything.

[*completely fictional, inspired by a random run-in with memory lane. Any similarities with person(s) in real life is purely coincidental. Thank you.]

"The average pencil is 7 inches long, with a half inch eraser. It was obviously invented by an optimist."

The Big 0-6.

He's going past his half-a-decade mark.
This makes him an official kid.
He'll be in 1st grade next school year.
It will take him two hands to show his age.
This was my birthday year where, out of my entire class and then some more invited, only one person attended my birthday party.
Well, it's my favorite number.

He's asked for balloons. Balloons of every color. He wants a chocolate cake. He wants his friends to attend. He knows this will be the next time he can step foot into his beloved "*Thomas Store".
(Thomas Store- this little shop we found down town that sells an array of Thomas and Friends merchandise- to Dylan, it's somewhere along the lines of stepping into Zara for me).

Oh, to be a child again. So much to look forward to. The best part? Your parents take care of everything. No worries about how much what costs. Dealing with the preparations. Hoping everything runs smoothly. To him, it's just his party- he's gonna have fun no matter what.

This is the first year he's made a big deal about his birthday. The first time he's given any suggestions about what he wants. This is also the year where he'll have more than 3 kids present at his party.

My baby's all grown up.
2 more weeks to go.
[He'll be turning 18 next year- won't wanna hold my hand, won't let me walk him to class, won't kiss me in public, won't want me talking to his friends... *tear*]

“If you’re going to go through hell… I suggest you come back learning something.”

— Drew Barrymore

That's fresh.

"Day by day, nothing changes...
but when you look back,

everything is different."

~unknown

No.

What a liberating feeling it is... to be able to speak your mind and truly say what you feel with complete disregard for the repercussions it might bring. Just to be able to say what you want to say without meaning anyone any harm or disrespect. For me, it has always been one word- No.

It's taken me some time to be comfortable with saying "No". To me, it has always been associated with disappointment or rejection. I was such a "people-pleaser-person" that i never dared let anyone down. Not me. In a way, i still have that characteristic mildly embedded in me. But these days, i know where to draw the line.

I am not obliged to do what i don't want to do. I don't owe anybody any favors. I don't need to waste my time. And why do i have to subject myself to torture? Simple as that.

No. I can't hang out.
No. You can't have this top.
No. I don't wanna go out.
No. I think i'll just go home.
No. I'm really not gonna eat that.
No. I don't have to down that... haha
Eh... No.

Something so simple yet so empowering.

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

— Ron White

“It’s not about being
who everyone else wants you to be,
it’s about being yourself
and finding someone
who loves every bit of it.”

~unknown

MusicWall

Arbitrary Mind Picks #53

1. I hated the movie Avatar. The clincher being i didn't watch it in 3D and the story itself wasn't enough to carry the movie through. I swore i'd never watch it again.
Except, it has become Dylan's new favorite movie. He's convinced he's Jake Sully and even speaks to me in the native language of Navi. Yeah, he'll speak Navi but refuses to learn Tagalog. He hisses at people when he's mad too.
Shoot me now.

2. I picked flowers for the house this morning. I finished a book (took me 6 months) too. We had a nice afternoon walk after school and even played actual board games when we got back home.
Nationwide blackouts- not fun but forces us to do other things. Quite refreshing, actually. This house is absolutely useless without power. I can't even make coffee.

3. I lost an earring today. A pair i made myself 5 years ago. I hate it when i lose earrings.

4. I am so accustomed to the lax pace of the mountains that the mere thought of going to Manila turns me off. How my life has changed in not even a year...

5. 6 more weeks til school break!
I. Cannot. Wait.

*Photograph by Anthony Le Bourlier*

I want one.

"... there's only so much fortune a man really needs, the rest is just for showing off."
-Forrest Gump

Arbitrary Mind Picks #52

1. I'm the parent at kiddie parties. After all these years, i still have a hard time believing that.

2. Learning to control my temper is one of the greatest things Dylan has ever taught me. For that, i will forever be grateful. 

3. I'm so chill. You know what? I really like it that way. 

4. It can't get any better than living like everyday is a vacation. 

5. Face on my pillow, comforter on my back, boxers and a tshirt, blinds tightly shut- perfection. If i love my bed now, i can't imagine the magic a feather bed would do. Yes, i'm still working on it. 

6. I have 3 pairs of slippers at home. I still manage to lose track of em and walk around bare foot. I remember my mom yelling at me for this when i was a kid. I've been this way forever... i wonder if this is characteristic or if there's a way to correct this. 

7. Alcohol served at kiddie parties- yay or nay? 

I say duper yay. My son is low maintenance. I get to kick it, he's all good in the hood. I'm so blessed. haha

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.”

— Siddhartha Gautama

"Luxury is not a necessity for me, 

but beautiful & good things are."~Anais Nin

Stress Levels Maximum Capacity = Woozah

Bottom line:
You make or break your own happiness.

You could be experiencing something absolutely dreadful, and depending on how you look at it and how you deal with it will determine the outcome of your day. I mean, your car breaking down might be an unpleasant ordeal... but the second you accept the fact that you can't do anything about it and make the most of the time you've got, the experience is more likely to suck a lot less. It takes a lot of practice and it certainly tries your patience... but once you've got it in the bag, i'll guarantee you it's worth it.
You're bored out of your mind- that's your fault. Do something about it.
You're having a bad day and you're mad as hell- that's your fault. Woozah it out.

Do you really wanna waste so much of your time being miserable? It's exhausting. Not to mention the damp mood you're infecting everybody with. Who's never appreciated a great dose of misery and good stress? People will definitely be lining up to hang out with you at the next party. Expect your phone to ring off the hook because you'll be the first one in mind to enjoy a relaxing getaway with. 

Picking the slowest lane at the grocery store, dealing with irritating sales people, being stuck in traffic, being rejected by taxi drivers, missing your flight, discovering you've been booked for a terrible gig, spilling ketchup on your shirt, checking into a resort to find out they've given away your reservation,  etc.
You get the point. That's life. Shit happens. It doesn't mean it's gotta suck though.

Shit makes great fertilizer. You just gotta learn how to deal with it properly. 

True story.

Remember: It's not that serious. 

             “For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson 

May the wind always be at your back, and the sun always upon your face. And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.

— George Jung, Blow.

 “Never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It’s probably worth it.”

— The Beach