Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Nothing wakes up the mind like devastating news. It makes people think, and feel, and react, and wonder. There are days when you feel like you've grown up so much that you can tackle pretty much anything... and then you're stumped with questions and you realize you don't know all that much after all. The things we do everyday are tied to so much emotion. Some things are easier to execute than others. There are times when we don't even stop to think about stuff that need to be done... and others... well, you'd rather sleep it off or drink it away to pass time instead of rack your brain about it.
I am no stranger to devastation. I have had my fair share of nightmares. I have shed tears and lived enough days i had rather slept right through. You think you'd know how to handle such an emotion.
But i don't.
And for the first time in a long time... i don't know what to do.
I am no stranger to devastation. I have had my fair share of nightmares. I have shed tears and lived enough days i had rather slept right through. You think you'd know how to handle such an emotion.
But i don't.
And for the first time in a long time... i don't know what to do.
Arbitrary Mind Picks #84
1. Oatmeal can taste like sansrival... if i wanted it to.
2. All i know is that in 25 days i will be eating anything fried in sight, at least 3 cups of rice in one sitting, a pizza- all to myself, a giant banana split, a tub of chocolate cake... oh, who am i kidding- this list could go on forever.
3. We are too dependent on modern technology.
Our internet was out for 2 days... i wanted to listen to the radio... it dawned on me that i didn't own one.
4. I love how kids think that band-aids make everything better.
5. The days sure go by faster the more productive you are. There's gotta be something to this "early to bed, early to rise" business.
2. All i know is that in 25 days i will be eating anything fried in sight, at least 3 cups of rice in one sitting, a pizza- all to myself, a giant banana split, a tub of chocolate cake... oh, who am i kidding- this list could go on forever.
3. We are too dependent on modern technology.
Our internet was out for 2 days... i wanted to listen to the radio... it dawned on me that i didn't own one.
4. I love how kids think that band-aids make everything better.
5. The days sure go by faster the more productive you are. There's gotta be something to this "early to bed, early to rise" business.
Training Day
My. Aching. Body.
All this just to fit into a bridesmaid's dress.
In terms of fitness, i haven't done anything close to the kind of turmoil i have gone through in the past 2 days. It's always the "getting started" part that stumps people. Well, i got off my ass and finally got started. To be honest with you, i couldn't be happier- but a little disappointed that i couldn't get myself to start earlier.
*tsk tsk* like foreals.
I know now why people who are serious about training NEED a personal trainer... well, hell, because if i didn't have anyone watching me- i would be cutting minutes and reps like they were hazardous to my health. I'm all for cheating (believe me, i'm the master)... given i was doing this for no particular reason, anyway. But for someone on a deadline and a set goal- there is just no room for shortcuts.
24 Days til final weigh-in.
Boo-yah!
[PS: Funny how i ran for 45 minutes and lifted at least 20 pounds worth of weights repeatedly earlier... and now i can barely make it from my dining room to the kitchen while carrying a saucepan with 2 cups of water in it... odd.]
All this just to fit into a bridesmaid's dress.
In terms of fitness, i haven't done anything close to the kind of turmoil i have gone through in the past 2 days. It's always the "getting started" part that stumps people. Well, i got off my ass and finally got started. To be honest with you, i couldn't be happier- but a little disappointed that i couldn't get myself to start earlier.
*tsk tsk* like foreals.
I know now why people who are serious about training NEED a personal trainer... well, hell, because if i didn't have anyone watching me- i would be cutting minutes and reps like they were hazardous to my health. I'm all for cheating (believe me, i'm the master)... given i was doing this for no particular reason, anyway. But for someone on a deadline and a set goal- there is just no room for shortcuts.
24 Days til final weigh-in.
Boo-yah!
[PS: Funny how i ran for 45 minutes and lifted at least 20 pounds worth of weights repeatedly earlier... and now i can barely make it from my dining room to the kitchen while carrying a saucepan with 2 cups of water in it... odd.]
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Back To School Blues
How do you tell a 6 year old who has so much fun on his own that it's time to quit it and shove him back into society?
With great difficulty. That's how.
Arbitrary Mind Picks #83
1. 6am mornings, once again, bright and... wait, no- dark and early tomorrow. *sigh*
2. I don't own a weighing scale... but training starts tomorrow and i best be on the tip of my will power if i'm gonna lose 10-15 pounds in 4 weeks! Sound impossible? Well, i can't doubt that now. My secret? Awesome training shoes encourage me to... well, train. haha
3. After living here for over a year and a half now, i'm happy that i still find little things everyday that makes me appreciate and love the fact that i live here. There really is no place like home. Viva la Baguio, folks.
4. Healthy eating doesn't necessarily mean crappy eating.
(This is what i say to make myself feel better...)
5. I used to not have a shoe fetish. And then i developed one. Then i got over it. After a while it reappeared. Soon after it went away again. Now the fetish is back.
I have a feeling this will be a never-ending cycle. Much like how my room stays clean and then it isn't anymore and i don't even know how it happened.
6. I need to clean my room. Oh, what the hell... i need to clean the whole apartment.
2. I don't own a weighing scale... but training starts tomorrow and i best be on the tip of my will power if i'm gonna lose 10-15 pounds in 4 weeks! Sound impossible? Well, i can't doubt that now. My secret? Awesome training shoes encourage me to... well, train. haha
3. After living here for over a year and a half now, i'm happy that i still find little things everyday that makes me appreciate and love the fact that i live here. There really is no place like home. Viva la Baguio, folks.
4. Healthy eating doesn't necessarily mean crappy eating.
(This is what i say to make myself feel better...)
5. I used to not have a shoe fetish. And then i developed one. Then i got over it. After a while it reappeared. Soon after it went away again. Now the fetish is back.
I have a feeling this will be a never-ending cycle. Much like how my room stays clean and then it isn't anymore and i don't even know how it happened.
6. I need to clean my room. Oh, what the hell... i need to clean the whole apartment.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Started the year off with sun & sand.
I'm convinced that Dylan and i will be spending a huge chunk of our lives neighboring the ocean. There's nothing like the sound of crashing waves, the sun in your face, sand between your toes, kickin back with your favorite tunes in the background... and an ice-cold beer.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Better Late Than Never
The holiday season whizzed past me faster than ever. It all feels so surreal now- like a dream i can barely remember.
I was in agony the first 2 weeks having 3 of my 4 wisdom teeth extracted. It was one of the worst experiences of my life... to the point that i compare it to child birth. There is nothing like having someone fiddle around in your mouth while you helplessly sit there listening to cracking teeth (hoping it's not your jaw bone- even though it feels as if it could be) for hours. Absolutely horrific. To add insult to injury, the dentist charged me an arm and a leg. I have never felt so ripped off. AND THEN i find out 3 days later that i lost feeling in the left part of my lower lip. Apparently a nerve was clipped. It's been a month... the feeling has not returned.
Like i said- agony.
The next week and a half after that was spent sleep deprived and nearly always intoxicated.
That's nothing surprising since that's always how my days/nights are spent when i'm "visiting" Manila. But all was well worth it as i got to spend some good time with good friends, eat amazing food, create new memories, get some good earned shopping out of the way, and finally- i got to DJ and it felt better than ever.
Manila- it's always a pleasure.
I get back to Baguio 3 days shy of Christmas Eve. The next week and a half are even more of a blur. One Christmas party after the other was enough to make a week blend into what seemed like hours. It got so bad that i seriously lost track as to what day it was. One drunken night greeted by sunlight- again and again, one after the other.
My liver hates me.
There's something about a year coming to an end that forces you to contemplate about yourself and reflect on your life. I see it in everyone. The notes that they write, the conversations that are brought up, the statuses people post on Facebook. People are/were deliberating.
I met the holiday season with so much anxiety. I was fickle and frustrated and so unsure about so many things in my life. I stopped writing because i couldn't sort out all the emotions that were passing through me. I had no structure. I was yearning for a life that felt like so much more than what i had. I needed to break away from a routine i tired of so quickly and step into a world out of my comfort zone. Or so i thought i needed to. Everything that i had asked for not more than 2 years ago had become bland to me.
Basically, I just couldn't figure it out.
I enter 2011 more content and satisfied than i have ever anticipated. My feet are planted firmly on the ground and my eyes have been opened to certain things that the rebel in me so carelessly looked past. I am thankful and grateful and happy. I have grown enormously in the past year and look out into the world with a sort-of changed, yet clearer vision.
I am in love and devoted to the people who are constantly a part of my life and at the same time thankful to those who have slowly, and voluntarily, moved away from me. I am confident when i say that everything really is just as it should be.
2011 greets me with a strict diet and a grueling work out.
My best friend is getting married in less than 4 weeks.
My son is about to lose another tooth. This time he's asking for 500 Php. Damn my siblings. Damn them to hell.
My significant other and i understand each other more than we ever have. And even though our relationship raises so many questions (and eyebrows), there's something about it that makes it just work.
Broccoli is awesome.
It's cold as hell here.
I think it's obvious that i have nothing more to say.
I'm not diving into this year with as much positivity and enthusiasm as i have in the past few years... HOWEVER, i do meet it with respect and gratitude. I greet it with maturity that tells me i will learn a whole lot more, i will cry a little and curse the gods, i will celebrate triumphs, and perhaps vomit every now and then from letting loose a bit too much. I will make new friends and cross paths with people who have learned not to like me as much as my real friends do. I will put my foot down even more than i did last year. I will stand up for myself and my beliefs more and concede, as i always do, when i know i've made a mistake. I will apologize when i have to and perhaps this will be the year where i will learn to finally control this hot temper of mine. Maybe i'll quit smoking for good, but i figured that won't happen until the day comes where Dylan is granted a sibling. I said "maybe" anyhow. I will take more photos, paint a picture that's been waiting to be created, and become more open minded to "new" music. I will be a shoulder to cry on, i'll give my 2 cents, and somewhere along the way will need someone to do the same for me. I'll try not to eat too much fat, or say i won't but end up eating it anyway. I've already begun to cut down on butter so i guess i'll just continue with that. I will understand more and more what kind of a mother i really want to be. My life will unravel as it should in all its glory and no matter what the universe brings- i will live the shit out of it.
Cheers to love and laughter in 2011.
I was in agony the first 2 weeks having 3 of my 4 wisdom teeth extracted. It was one of the worst experiences of my life... to the point that i compare it to child birth. There is nothing like having someone fiddle around in your mouth while you helplessly sit there listening to cracking teeth (hoping it's not your jaw bone- even though it feels as if it could be) for hours. Absolutely horrific. To add insult to injury, the dentist charged me an arm and a leg. I have never felt so ripped off. AND THEN i find out 3 days later that i lost feeling in the left part of my lower lip. Apparently a nerve was clipped. It's been a month... the feeling has not returned.
Like i said- agony.
The next week and a half after that was spent sleep deprived and nearly always intoxicated.
That's nothing surprising since that's always how my days/nights are spent when i'm "visiting" Manila. But all was well worth it as i got to spend some good time with good friends, eat amazing food, create new memories, get some good earned shopping out of the way, and finally- i got to DJ and it felt better than ever.
Manila- it's always a pleasure.
I get back to Baguio 3 days shy of Christmas Eve. The next week and a half are even more of a blur. One Christmas party after the other was enough to make a week blend into what seemed like hours. It got so bad that i seriously lost track as to what day it was. One drunken night greeted by sunlight- again and again, one after the other.
My liver hates me.
There's something about a year coming to an end that forces you to contemplate about yourself and reflect on your life. I see it in everyone. The notes that they write, the conversations that are brought up, the statuses people post on Facebook. People are/were deliberating.
I met the holiday season with so much anxiety. I was fickle and frustrated and so unsure about so many things in my life. I stopped writing because i couldn't sort out all the emotions that were passing through me. I had no structure. I was yearning for a life that felt like so much more than what i had. I needed to break away from a routine i tired of so quickly and step into a world out of my comfort zone. Or so i thought i needed to. Everything that i had asked for not more than 2 years ago had become bland to me.
Basically, I just couldn't figure it out.
I enter 2011 more content and satisfied than i have ever anticipated. My feet are planted firmly on the ground and my eyes have been opened to certain things that the rebel in me so carelessly looked past. I am thankful and grateful and happy. I have grown enormously in the past year and look out into the world with a sort-of changed, yet clearer vision.
I am in love and devoted to the people who are constantly a part of my life and at the same time thankful to those who have slowly, and voluntarily, moved away from me. I am confident when i say that everything really is just as it should be.
2011 greets me with a strict diet and a grueling work out.
My best friend is getting married in less than 4 weeks.
My son is about to lose another tooth. This time he's asking for 500 Php. Damn my siblings. Damn them to hell.
My significant other and i understand each other more than we ever have. And even though our relationship raises so many questions (and eyebrows), there's something about it that makes it just work.
Broccoli is awesome.
It's cold as hell here.
I think it's obvious that i have nothing more to say.
I'm not diving into this year with as much positivity and enthusiasm as i have in the past few years... HOWEVER, i do meet it with respect and gratitude. I greet it with maturity that tells me i will learn a whole lot more, i will cry a little and curse the gods, i will celebrate triumphs, and perhaps vomit every now and then from letting loose a bit too much. I will make new friends and cross paths with people who have learned not to like me as much as my real friends do. I will put my foot down even more than i did last year. I will stand up for myself and my beliefs more and concede, as i always do, when i know i've made a mistake. I will apologize when i have to and perhaps this will be the year where i will learn to finally control this hot temper of mine. Maybe i'll quit smoking for good, but i figured that won't happen until the day comes where Dylan is granted a sibling. I said "maybe" anyhow. I will take more photos, paint a picture that's been waiting to be created, and become more open minded to "new" music. I will be a shoulder to cry on, i'll give my 2 cents, and somewhere along the way will need someone to do the same for me. I'll try not to eat too much fat, or say i won't but end up eating it anyway. I've already begun to cut down on butter so i guess i'll just continue with that. I will understand more and more what kind of a mother i really want to be. My life will unravel as it should in all its glory and no matter what the universe brings- i will live the shit out of it.
Cheers to love and laughter in 2011.
DECEMBER 2010
- DYLAN lost his first tooth and collected 20Php from the tooth fairy. She's not cheap… that's just all he asked for.
- Pretty and refreshing drinks + girl time + shopping
- Our "Family" Christmas photo
- Vans
- I got back into the DJ Booth and loved every beat of it.
- THE Female DJ Duo back together again. (Photo by Barry Ancheta Ambrosio)
- My cutie pie of a goddaughter turned 1. Check out the sick quilt- made of her outgrown baby clothes… custom made and sewed with love by the ever so creative Tita Reena.
- Rainbow Cupcakes were a hit at the party!
- Girls to love.
- View from my bedroom window. I love that i live here.
- We make our own pasta.
- It's that Christmas feeling.
- My dad is Einstein via Skype.
- My flatmates/siblings and i ringing in the New Year
- The first sunrise of 2011
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