Facts:
There is a fine line between being deeply in love and crossing the brink of insanity.
It has been proven that heartache may be considered to be a probable cause of death.
Majority of suicides/suicide attempts can be linked to heart break.
It has been documented that husbands who kiss their wives in the morning before leaving for work can live up to five years longer than those who don't.
Historically, being in love has been viewed as a mental illness.
***
I have 5 more years to go... am i crazy?
I have so much faith in him... is that beautiful?
For the past year and a half, i have told my story time and time again.
Yes, i'm in a long distance relationship.
No, i didn't believe in it either.
Yes, i'm waiting 5 more years- it used to be 6 though, one year down! *thumbs up*
No, we're not seeing other people.
Yeah, i'm really not gonna be having sex.
No, no visits. We won't see each other at all in the next 5 years.
And i get one of two responses:
a) Wow. Good luck with that. I really hope it works out.
OR
b) Jesus. That's not gonna last.
Most frequently asked questions:
Do you talk everyday?
-Yes.
You must really think he's the one, huh?
-Yup.
You really think you'll be able to hang on?
-That's the plan.
Aren't you worried that you'll waste your youth waiting for him?
-No. It wasn't really a concern til you brought it up. Thanks.
How do you do it?
-With a crazy mind and a lot of love.
Everyone thinks that being in a long distance relationship is something that's up for discussion. You don't see people going up to a couple in a horrid, abusive relationship and voicing out their concerns though. Why is that?
So many people have so little faith in what love could possibly be. True, this might not work out. It's a possibility that i might wait years for nothing. But just because the future isn't written in stone doesn't mean i have to give up now.
You have to understand that my whole life changed when i fell in love with this guy. To think it was something we tried to avoid right from the beginning. I guess that's why they call it "falling" in love. You really just fall into it. I don't think we generally get to pick who it is that manages to sweep us off our feet and turns us head over heels in love.
When you find something good in your life, you keep it. You fight for it. If you think it's worth it, you give it everything you have. That's how important we are to each other.
Of course it gets hard... but the question isn't "Can i really do this?". It's actually, "Is he worth it?"
I had a checklist for my "ideal guy". This list was scrapped when Ian and i got together... because he didn't just meet the standards- he added more onto it.
I might sound like a lovesick moron. But i'm stating my case and these are the facts. Word of advice: never tell someone in a long distance relationship that it's not gonna work out or that they shouldn't be in it. It's not like we haven't weighed out our options. You don't MAKE someone do this- it's a conscious decision. We also don't need your lack of encouragement.
One basic rule applies to all of this- if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.
One person's trash is someone else's treasure. His imperfections to someone else might just be the little things i fell in love with. The world is right when i'm with him. And even though we can't physically be together right now, knowing that he is a huge part of my life is still better than not having him in it at all.
We carry on with other priorities in our lives during our time apart. We know that this category is settled though. We focus on different aspects of our lives, and trust that when the time is right, everything will fall into place. Our time spent as each other's friend, confidante, and companion will never be seen as a waste of time. And even after a year and a half without seeing each other, our love is only stronger than it's ever been.
5 years is nothing compared to the rest of your life. Well, given that you live the average life span, anyway. What's a few years? A small sacrifice is well worth it. The most important things in this life are usually earned. Trust. Friendship. Loyalty. Respect. Love.
There is a rare, handful of people that find true love in their lifetime... even less discover that it is, in fact, their one true love. I don't know how that feels and i'm not exactly sure if i would know what it was if it slapped me across the face... but i imagine it can't possibly be far from what it feels like to be with Ian.
i have this unwavering faith in him. I root for him like my life
depended on it. I care for him as if he was a part of me.
When we're together, time stops and the world fades into the background.
I love him because he is my other half.
He brings out the best part of who i am... and i will forever be grateful.
I find myself going through the motions of the day, doing what i have to do, and at the end of it all, realize that every passing moment, is always time that leads me to him.
Ian once told me that what we have made him understand how love was depicted in music and in the movies.
[I should probably stop there and not go any further with quotes from my significant other to avoid bruising the male ego. =p]
But i can assure you that the feelings are mutual.
We have gone through ups and downs, like any normal couple. We've made our compromises and have settled scores many times over. We've seen each other through some of the toughest things in each others' lives. We have a few hurdles to jump over and i'm sure there will be other obstacles in the way- but what couple doesn't, and how does that make us any different?
Not being physically together is tough. It's important, but it's not THE most important thing. If you know you've found someone who understands you, treats you right, loves you for who you are, and is willing to stand by your side always, and helps you become the best you can be- you've already done something right.
People throw sex around. You can't ever say the same thing about Love. The feeling in itself is already sacred as it is.
Being in love with Ian happened so easily.
The world might look at me with raised eyebrows and cynicism in the air, and seeing me, my life, as something absolutely crazy... but what they don't know is, that to me, it's all incredibly beautiful.
And that's all that really matters.
*I love you, Ian Alvarez.
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