A Thought For Today

Life is cold
Cold is pain
Pain is growth
And every single rose sees rain
And the rain gon' come it ain't nothin new,
But when it's done the sun shinin' through...
-Blu & Exile, Cold Hearted

I still remember everything about that night. I am reminded of it somehow every single day. Yes, it's in the past... but there are some things that manage to escape that trap in time and follow you into your present. Some things are just hard to let go.

The world was a shade of blue and gray. For days and days and days...

I smoked 2 packs of cigarettes everyday. Switched from lights to reds. It helped calm me down and lessen the shaking.

I was mad at the country and despised the government. For the first time, it had dawned on me why it was so terrible that the Philippines was known to be a country where anybody could get away with anything.

I learned how to cope with the help of crutches and was frustrated with the fact i could not use my legs. I walked all over Makati on the day i put those crutches to rest.

I feared facing my friends, seeing the look on their face, hearing their words of grief because of the loss of someone so dear. A sure thing to break my heart is seeing people i care about in grief.

It's been 5 years. I am still suffering from the after-effects.
I wonder how life would have played out if that night had turned out differently?
Just a thought.

[Taken from the archives of my blog in '05- Here's our story]