You ever catch yourself staring blankly into nothing and you wake yourself up with a kind of start? You realize that you were in deep thought but your thoughts were so jumbled up that you can't seem to recall what it was exactly that you were thinking of or why you were even doing any of that to begin with. I'm sure millions of people out there have done it.
You ever sit and think in silence and wonder what your purpose in life was? Perhaps you're meant for greater things or maybe you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. How do you know for sure? If you go for what you think you're supposed to do only to find later on that you don't even like it, how do you take a step back? Well, you can't. So now you're shit outta luck. I don't understand how that can make anybody happy.
You ever imagine what your life could have possibly been like if you had done something different in the past? Everybody's thought about it. Don't lie. Well, it would be great to know that that version of your story was really messed up and you got the good end of the deal, wouldn't it? I think knowing that would make me happy.
You ever just sit and think to yourself and write things down and see what you come up with?
Well, i just did. I think it's kinda strange. Maybe next time i shouldn't hold back at all and see what shows up on these pages. That would be interesting.
Maybe i'll do that tomorrow.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
For the rest of my life i'm going to look for someone exactly like you.
I will be wondering about all the things that could have been.
I won't want to know how you're doing- i couldn't bear the thought of it... but i would imagine you were getting along fine. I mean, things do happen for a reason.
For the rest of my life i will see, hear, and say things that will forever remind me of you.
You were a part of my life for so long, you can't really help it. You are always going to be a part of who i am. I am me for so many reasons because of you.
Perhaps, for the rest of my life i will be missing the reality of you and me.
But life moves on and maybe i'll end up a different person.
But no matter what happens, for the rest of my life i will always be thankful.
You will always be you to me for the rest of my life.
I will be wondering about all the things that could have been.
I won't want to know how you're doing- i couldn't bear the thought of it... but i would imagine you were getting along fine. I mean, things do happen for a reason.
For the rest of my life i will see, hear, and say things that will forever remind me of you.
You were a part of my life for so long, you can't really help it. You are always going to be a part of who i am. I am me for so many reasons because of you.
Perhaps, for the rest of my life i will be missing the reality of you and me.
But life moves on and maybe i'll end up a different person.
But no matter what happens, for the rest of my life i will always be thankful.
You will always be you to me for the rest of my life.
Friday, November 6, 2009
An unexpected downpour and I am just giving myself into it. Because what the fuck else can you do? Run for cover? Shriek or curse? No- when the rain falls, you just let it fall and you grin like a madman and you dance with it, because if you can make yourself happy in the rain, then you’re doing pretty alright in life.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Life doesn't get easier, does it?
There will always be mountains to move and oceans to cross.
Something will always pop up that you can't have.
Problems will always show up and you have to man up.
Someone will always irritate or disappoint you.
Things won't always go the way you plan it.
... but i guess it really just depends on how you handle it.
There will always be mountains to move and oceans to cross.
Something will always pop up that you can't have.
Problems will always show up and you have to man up.
Someone will always irritate or disappoint you.
Things won't always go the way you plan it.
... but i guess it really just depends on how you handle it.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
You're never too old.
Snow White, Belle, Red Riding Hood, & JasmineCostumes courtesy of Reena.
At one point in the evening a guy came up to me and asked, "You're friends with the Disney princesses, right?" To which i replied, "Yup."
He then continued to ask me, "How come they all have a movie and you don't?"
Haha. Good question. I don't really know the answer to that.
Halloween was a huge success and loads of fun. If you weren't out that night, you for sure missed out. I'm glad i was able to make my way to the metro for it. That, and to celebrate one of my really close friend/homeboy/brother's birthday- Happy Birthday Tisoy!!!
It was an awesome and much needed weekend. =)
How was your Halloween?
Snow White, Belle, "Shower", Jasmine, Red Riding Hood, & Duffman (The Simpsons)
My all-time favorite bartender, Goldie @ Alchemy
At one point in the evening a guy came up to me and asked, "You're friends with the Disney princesses, right?" To which i replied, "Yup."
He then continued to ask me, "How come they all have a movie and you don't?"
Haha. Good question. I don't really know the answer to that.
Halloween was a huge success and loads of fun. If you weren't out that night, you for sure missed out. I'm glad i was able to make my way to the metro for it. That, and to celebrate one of my really close friend/homeboy/brother's birthday- Happy Birthday Tisoy!!!
It was an awesome and much needed weekend. =)
How was your Halloween?
Snow White, Belle, "Shower", Jasmine, Red Riding Hood, & Duffman (The Simpsons)
My all-time favorite bartender, Goldie @ Alchemy
I have been detoxing up in the mountains. No alcohol, barely any smoking at all so the weekend really gave my body a start. I can no longer hang and will be the first to admit it. By the second night, i was pretty much wiped out- we couldn't come up with better costumes to top what we had the night before, and there's no way we were gonna do repeats- so we improvised. In other words, we slacked off.
It was fun, nonetheless.
I know some people don't get down with dressing up... but i love Halloween.
Awesome weekend, it was good to see everyone, and refreshing to catch up. Maybe in another month or two... next time though, i'll opt to stay in a bit more. =p
It was fun, nonetheless.
I know some people don't get down with dressing up... but i love Halloween.
Awesome weekend, it was good to see everyone, and refreshing to catch up. Maybe in another month or two... next time though, i'll opt to stay in a bit more. =p
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Arbitrary Mind Picks #18
1. No idea what i could possibly be for Halloween. Dylan's school doesn't celebrate Halloween anymore (Apparently, some parents complained about it being offensive. Weak and BOO), so no dressing up for him either... double boo.
2. I eat too much... and it shows. Boo again.
3. Looking forward to the weekend. I really really need it.
4. I haven't had much to write about because i feel as if i haven't exactly found my niche yet. And between keeping house and being both mom & dad... i just don't feel like writing.
5. Those who don't have children will never fully understand what it's like to be a parent until they have kids of their own. Even if they think they have an idea of what it could possibly be like, they're wrong. Everything changes when that time actually comes. Until then, your 2 cents on parenthood is not valid. AT ALL.
-sometimes, i wish they could though...
2. I eat too much... and it shows. Boo again.
3. Looking forward to the weekend. I really really need it.
4. I haven't had much to write about because i feel as if i haven't exactly found my niche yet. And between keeping house and being both mom & dad... i just don't feel like writing.
5. Those who don't have children will never fully understand what it's like to be a parent until they have kids of their own. Even if they think they have an idea of what it could possibly be like, they're wrong. Everything changes when that time actually comes. Until then, your 2 cents on parenthood is not valid. AT ALL.
-sometimes, i wish they could though...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Remember:
1) Whoever comes are the right people.
2) Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
3) Whenever it starts is the right time.
4) When it's over, it's over.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What are Good Days made of?
Waking up at 6am to Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds".
Lying in bed for 30 minutes. I fight the cold and will myself out of bed.
Waking up a happy and hopeful 5 year old and help him get ready for school.
A good cup of coffee while checking my messages while Dylan has his morning cereal for breakfast.
Dropping off an excited little boy to school. We part ways with a heartfelt hug, a little kiss, and a firm handshake.
A good, brisk, morning walk. Sun in face, chilly breeze, hands in my sweater pocket, and clean air filling my lungs.
A filling breakfast of tapsilog and more coffee.
A good conversation with Ian on Skype. We exchange stories, swap pictures, tell jokes, update on anything under the sun, laugh, reminisce, etc. *sigh* Long distance still sucks, but we surely make the most of it.
Browsing through my favorite blogs/sites, replying to/composing emails, checking up on friends online, looking through miscellaneous photos- lazing away and chilling to Tommy Guerrero in the background.
Perhaps sneak in a bit of Yoga.
Walking through my old school on my way to pick up a bright, and cheerful Kindergartener.
Being greeted with a smile, a boisterous "Hi Mommy!!!", and a report that my little man was on 5-star behavior all day.
Lunch at one of my favorite local places, ordering my favorite one-of-a-kind combo, and savoring my meal. How i love food.
Back home, laze on the couch and wonder what to do the rest of the day- our itinerary is planned out.
Walking over to Wright Park. Dylan picks his usual ride- Sidewide. And off he goes for his one hour trip on horseback.
Taking my solo walk back home- ipod at work, stopping every now and then to snap a photo, and all the while thinking, listening, reflecting, dreaming, and visualizing.
Dylan is dropped off at home. He waves goodbye to his noble steed, watches with delight until he disappears from view and we head on inside.
Another afternoon walk, a banana split, a sundae cone, some window shopping, and a lot of singing. Dylan enjoys our walks.
A DVD for the little one, sidetracked with some trains, a paper plane, a plastic straw, some tracks, a few cars, and dozens of "Mommy, watch ME-ah!!!". I read a book. Oh, and i watch him.
Dinner. I keep it small. I have soup. Dylan has his usual- i'm surprised he's not sick of it... fried chicken, rice, and a dallop of ketchup.
I log back on the internet. Dylan reads a book, plays with his toys, interrupts me. I give in. He simultaneously watches a DVD while plays with toys. He also munches on cereal. I watch him. I do a crossword puzzle. I read a bit of this book. I tidy up the place.
Clean up time. We sing, we shower, we blow dry, we brush, we play, and off he goes to bed.
Lights out.
I tuck him in. He chats. I listen. I chat back. We laugh. We exchange:
Good night
Sleep Well
Sweet Dreams
See you tomorrow
I love you
(repeat 3x)
It's become a bedtime ritual.
5 minutes later, he's out cold.
I go back online. There's simultaneous photo commenting/YMing/FBing with the fam.
We bid each other good night.
I watch an episode of Friends. Another episode. And another.
I daydream about the future. I think about our day. I look at my life... and i say;
"This is what good days are made of..."
Lying in bed for 30 minutes. I fight the cold and will myself out of bed.
Waking up a happy and hopeful 5 year old and help him get ready for school.
A good cup of coffee while checking my messages while Dylan has his morning cereal for breakfast.
Dropping off an excited little boy to school. We part ways with a heartfelt hug, a little kiss, and a firm handshake.
A good, brisk, morning walk. Sun in face, chilly breeze, hands in my sweater pocket, and clean air filling my lungs.
A filling breakfast of tapsilog and more coffee.
A good conversation with Ian on Skype. We exchange stories, swap pictures, tell jokes, update on anything under the sun, laugh, reminisce, etc. *sigh* Long distance still sucks, but we surely make the most of it.
Browsing through my favorite blogs/sites, replying to/composing emails, checking up on friends online, looking through miscellaneous photos- lazing away and chilling to Tommy Guerrero in the background.
Perhaps sneak in a bit of Yoga.
Walking through my old school on my way to pick up a bright, and cheerful Kindergartener.
Being greeted with a smile, a boisterous "Hi Mommy!!!", and a report that my little man was on 5-star behavior all day.
Lunch at one of my favorite local places, ordering my favorite one-of-a-kind combo, and savoring my meal. How i love food.
Back home, laze on the couch and wonder what to do the rest of the day- our itinerary is planned out.
Walking over to Wright Park. Dylan picks his usual ride- Sidewide. And off he goes for his one hour trip on horseback.
Taking my solo walk back home- ipod at work, stopping every now and then to snap a photo, and all the while thinking, listening, reflecting, dreaming, and visualizing.
Dylan is dropped off at home. He waves goodbye to his noble steed, watches with delight until he disappears from view and we head on inside.
Another afternoon walk, a banana split, a sundae cone, some window shopping, and a lot of singing. Dylan enjoys our walks.
A DVD for the little one, sidetracked with some trains, a paper plane, a plastic straw, some tracks, a few cars, and dozens of "Mommy, watch ME-ah!!!". I read a book. Oh, and i watch him.
Dinner. I keep it small. I have soup. Dylan has his usual- i'm surprised he's not sick of it... fried chicken, rice, and a dallop of ketchup.
I log back on the internet. Dylan reads a book, plays with his toys, interrupts me. I give in. He simultaneously watches a DVD while plays with toys. He also munches on cereal. I watch him. I do a crossword puzzle. I read a bit of this book. I tidy up the place.
Clean up time. We sing, we shower, we blow dry, we brush, we play, and off he goes to bed.
Lights out.
I tuck him in. He chats. I listen. I chat back. We laugh. We exchange:
Good night
Sleep Well
Sweet Dreams
See you tomorrow
I love you
(repeat 3x)
It's become a bedtime ritual.
5 minutes later, he's out cold.
I go back online. There's simultaneous photo commenting/YMing/FBing with the fam.
We bid each other good night.
I watch an episode of Friends. Another episode. And another.
I daydream about the future. I think about our day. I look at my life... and i say;
"This is what good days are made of..."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Hiatus Much?
After a 3 week long break with absolutely no means to access the internet, i am back.
Since then:
So how's the world been?
Since then:
- we have moved into our apartment- finally.
- a monster typhoon has come and gone- leaving a devastating amount of damage on our side of the hood. Relief efforts are still ongoing... and as of today, so are search parties.
- I have been getting into the swing of making breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
- i haven't written anything...
- i have been so out of the loop, oblivious to the happenings of the world and the people i know.
- i think i have gained a few pounds due to excessive eating and sleeping... being stuck at home with weather conducive to living like a bum.
- i have organized my iTunes!!! This is something i am proud of because as important as my music is to me, it was always bombarded with a lot of music that i couldn't even stand (because being a DJ, i had to have a good variety of everything). Now i can put it on shuffle without the fear of Soulja Boy coming on.
So how's the world been?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Being a DJ Saved My Life
Hahahaha! (Sorry, i'm not familiar with techno/"raver shit") I used to get the craziest requests as a DJ, as i'm sure all DJ's do. My friends and i who all shared the same profession used to always have a good laugh about this.
Requests would come in napkins, torn pieces of paper, a message passed through the bouncer or waiter, or eager patrons themselves who just cannot, absolutely cannot wait to hear their song.
My personal favorites:
- Can you play (insert song title here)? (Sure) Like now? (Uh, no... maybe later) Can it be the next song? (No, i can't do that. But i'll be sure to play it later) No, we want it next. Can you play it right after this one? Please?
- But we're gonna leave soon!
- But it's my friend's birthday
- It's our favorite song!
- Please, we'll love you forever!!!
- Hi! Can you play that song? (Hums tune)
- (During HipHop Night) Can you play house? (No...) Well, there's nobody here....
- Can you change the song? (straight up... haha)
- (Hands you CD) Can you play 3, 11, oh! and 9?
- (While A Tribe Called Quest is playing) Hi... can you play some hiphop?
- Girl: Hi. Can you play something underground?
- Dj: Underground? Okay... like, what's underground to you?
- Girl: I dunno... like, Busta Rhymes or something.
- Dj: (glares)
I've cleared the dance floor by playing one of my most favorite songs- Electric Relaxation. *sigh*
The best crowd reaction i've ever received was for a song i didn't even like.
One of the best gigs of my life happened after the club emptied out because i started playing music i actually liked and i was left with 7 genuine people actually appreciating my set. It was better than hearing an entire floor with thousands of people scream to "Ayer".
I have accidentally turned off the turntable in the middle of a song at least 3 times, and i have switched off the wrong turn more than i can remember.
I have hit the needle, thus interrupting a song, too many times.
I have unintentionally played the wrong song at least twice. Which is trippy because i'm expecting to hear another song only to have something completely different play out.
I'm notorious for getting bored too quickly, so i switch songs before the 2nd verse comes on. I know better now.
When i make a mistake, I make a face. Everyone says i shouldn't do that... because it only makes the mistake more noticeable. But i can't help it! Sometimes, i pretend like i didn't do it.
When technical difficulties come up, i turn red and my ears heat up. I wish people would know that the DJ has nothing to do with that. There is no need to "boo".
I like the ritual of setting up and/or packing up. I also prefer to carry my own stuff. I don't know why...
I smoked cigarettes twice as much on the decks than anything else. *tsk tsk*
I started playing with a strict "no-drinking" policy.
At one point i only played drunk.
For a while there, i played better on alcohol than i did sober.
I ended with- "i can drink and play if i want to, but i can be sober too. But drinking passes the time. Being sober makes me so serious. But when i'm sober, i remember what i play. I get really messy depending on how drunk i am. " Someone passes me a drink. "I guess i'll drink"
I ended with- i really have fun doing what i do.
I have great respect for a DJ's "last song for the night"... haha. It tells me things.
If an opening DJ can warm it up nicely- mad props. I was on that rotation for a long ass minute.
If an opening DJ plays all the bangers before the guest headlining DJ- it screams INSECURITY. No joke.
I would expect a DJ to be able to hang a minimum of 3 hours. LOL! Even if you DO only get paid for an hour... you SHOULD be able to hang much longer than that.
A scream of "OH!!!" for a good yet forgotten oldie is much better than the "WHOO!!!" for the newest hit that just came out.
I appreciate compliments and props while i'm playing... but i don't feel the same way when you try to start a conversation. Dude, we're working.
I appreciate drinks being sent over- i don't appreciate you trying to get me to down it in the middle of a mix. Common sense.
When you talk to me and i put my hand up to stop you because i'm in the middle of doing something, it's not because i'm a bitch- it's really because I'M DOING SOMETHING.
Do not touch the equipment. Enough said. haha!
Yes, i know my computer screen is pretty and nice to look at. Take notes while you're at it. I'm not stingy.
If you're not a DJ, why are you in the DJ booth?
The 2 Female HipHop DJ's of Manila are MIA at the moment. Is anybody up for the position?
*sigh*
I miss my job.
Arbitrary Mind Picks #17
1) My heart goes out to all those affected by Typhoon Ondoy, truly. I am overwhelmed with the outpour of support and help... but i can't stop thinking that it took such a tragedy for our people to come together. Were there no homeless, starving, and dying children pre-Ketsana? The state of our country is a disaster on its own... the typhoon only made it worse, doesn't mean the help wasn't needed before then. When this disaster is overcome and life resumes to normalcy, does the help stop too?
2) The thought that some people are still trying to make extra cash out of a tragedy is sick. SICK, i tell you. SHAME on you.
Raising prices on basic goods because you know people need them.
The Philippine Customs Officials are charging taxes and/or seizing international relief donations? REALLY???
3) I'm in a terrible mood because the laundry place i've been going to managed to completely shrink my favorite sweaters. I mean if it used to drop to knee length, they managed to shrink it to waist-length. I know there's nothing i can do about it (which is the sad part, because apparently, in a different country, you could be fully compensated for this), but this chick is piiiiiiiiiiiissed.
4) *woooooooooo-zaaaaaaaaaaaah*
5) On a lighter note, Dylan and i have moved out of the inn we've been staying at for the last 2 months. The new apartment is good and cozy, but there's still a lot of work to be done. Looking forward to building a new home.
6) Today marks the beginning of my 3rd year on a long distance relationship... i can't decide whether or not that's great (because we made it this far) or tragic (because we're STILL apart).
That is all.
I'm so happy it's Friday. Can you tell?
2) The thought that some people are still trying to make extra cash out of a tragedy is sick. SICK, i tell you. SHAME on you.
Raising prices on basic goods because you know people need them.
The Philippine Customs Officials are charging taxes and/or seizing international relief donations? REALLY???
3) I'm in a terrible mood because the laundry place i've been going to managed to completely shrink my favorite sweaters. I mean if it used to drop to knee length, they managed to shrink it to waist-length. I know there's nothing i can do about it (which is the sad part, because apparently, in a different country, you could be fully compensated for this), but this chick is piiiiiiiiiiiissed.
4) *woooooooooo-zaaaaaaaaaaaah*
5) On a lighter note, Dylan and i have moved out of the inn we've been staying at for the last 2 months. The new apartment is good and cozy, but there's still a lot of work to be done. Looking forward to building a new home.
6) Today marks the beginning of my 3rd year on a long distance relationship... i can't decide whether or not that's great (because we made it this far) or tragic (because we're STILL apart).
That is all.
I'm so happy it's Friday. Can you tell?
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