Ambassador of Kwan

This is gonna sound completely insane, but- i just saw Jerry Maguire for the first time last night.
Well, when the movie came out, i think i was in 6th grade, so i wasn't really watching a lot of movies or even just television. I always had something to do, be it homework or school activities/sports, or lounging with friends.
So yeah, i never got to see it until last night.

One word.
Classic.
I haven't seen a good movie in a while and seeing this movie last night was something i thoroughly enjoyed. It wasn't straight drama nor was it a complete chick flick. The story actually made sense, had a point, and it was fully entertaining all the way. I found it to be a good balance of everything that i like.

And in some weird way... i found myself actually relating to Renee Zellweger's character- Dorothy. A single mom who gave up on love and jumped at the opportunity to find it once again. She was working her ass off to raise a child and was looking for inspiration. It's a good thing when you get that feeling that there are other people out there who can fully understand you.
"I'm the oldest 26 year old in the world!"
"Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work."
"...practical? Dont tell me to be practical. Do you know what other women my age are doing right now? They're out. Trying to find a man, trying to keep a man. Oh, not me, im trying to raise a man."
haha! yeah... you get my point.

I miss those days when movies were made to hit you this way. A lot of the time, especially these days, they're made strictly for entertainment. It's all about the special effects and the crazy technology used to make the film (but the story sucks!). There was a time when movies were made to give us a glimpse of certain things we strive for. They would remind us of principles and values that we tend to forget. We get so caught up in our lives and worrying about problems and trying to correct mistakes that when we find time to sit down and watch these things, we remember a time when we used to live for the simpler things in life.
I seriously miss being 10 years old.

So this movie is about a go-getter-living-in-the-fast-lane type of guy, in a dog-eat-dog world, who is all of a sudden struck by his good natured conscience. By trying to do the right thing, he loses everything in the process... but by sticking to his principles (along with hard work and persistence), he gains everything that is important and all that matters to him in his lifetime. *sigh* haha.
Moral of the story: do the right thing. It pays off in the end, believe it or not. Even if you have to go through hell first before you get there.

It sounds a lot easier than it really is... but don't we all try to do the right thing most of the time? I know i do. And in all honesty, i find that it breaks me more than it helps me. But i like to think that this kind of attitude pays off eventually. The world must be completely fucked up if it supported all the "bad" people. Majority of the time, it sure looks like it does.

Time and time again i find myself constantly being tested. The world just trying my patience, glaring at me and waiting for me to fall off the edge... until i'm hanging by my fingertips pleading for help. I eventually find myself back on my feet again- the process of free-climbing myself up the cliff almost a blur, i'm just relieved that it's over, really. So i breath a sigh of relief... only to find myself in the same predicament in the near future.
It's a vicious cycle.

I've always been the eternal optimist though... and i always dust myself off and manage to stand on my own two feet. It's the story of my life.
But i wanna be inspired.

I find that i'm not aiming for the best things in life anymore... but i do want the good things. I want stability, not filthy rich. I want spare time with good friends and a family that i love, who love me in return. I wanna raise my children right and take care of the man who loves me. I want the good "little" things.
I'd be a damn liar if i said i didn't want a Porsche, but that's beside the point. Even if i had all the money in the world and all the luxuries life has to offer... if i have nobody to share it with, it would mean nothing to me.
A husband that works day in and day out... but i never got to talk to- useless. I'd be miserable. Even if he bought me diamonds- what would i do with diamonds? They would sit in my box and do nothing. They'd be blood diamonds too... (i'm only joking. really.)
Work for the things you want in life... work hard. But don't work too hard that you find yourself not being able to enjoy what you make.

I'm not complaining... just venting. I'm blessed in certain aspects of my life, and i know that. I'm lucky enough to experiece some things that most people only dream of having... and others will never find. And i'm thankful.
I'm not asking for much... not the best, just the good things.
Success has a different definition for everyone.
I'm working on my kind of success... it might not mean the same thing to others, but i know what's important to me.
Amen.

If you haven't seen Jerry Maguire. I strongly suggest you take time out to see it.

Dicky Fox: "Hey... I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life. I love my wife. And I wish you my kind of success."