Well, not really... but at the rate we're going, with the days whizzing on by and the months rolling on in the blink of an eye, and the year over as quick as it begun... shit, i might as well be.
I swear i was only 23 a few weeks ago. I still sorta believe i'm 23 years old. haha! I have to remind myself that that was 2 and a half years ago. Some memories are still fresh in my mind. I swear, i feel like i remember last year's New Year party better than i do the one that JUST passed. Strange.
2008 flew by faster than any year i know. I don't understand it. It seems like 2009 is either moving at the same rate... or flying by even faster. January is over???
I'm not writing this complaining about my age. No way. It's not that. I just feel like the days are passing me by and i don't even realize it. I find it hard to grasp. Life really does happen in the blink of an eye. Have i just been too busy to notice? Have i not been living enough? Or have i been living too much?
I can't believe Dylan is turning 5. That's all your fingers in one hand. When did he start growing up? He used to fit in my palm and not walk or talk yet. These days, he's got suggestions on what he wants for breakfast and picks out which pair of shoes he wants to wear with his outfit. He knows where to go at the mall and he doesn't need help eating. He's capable of doing all that on his own. My baby's not a baby anymore. I guess he really hasn't been a baby for a long time now.
My baby brother is 5 inches taller than me. When the hell did that happen? I'm a decade older than him.
Ian and i have spent almost a year and half apart. Before the long distance started, i was worrying about whether or not i'd make it through 6 months... a year would have been miraculous. We planned to be together by 2 years. Now, we're shooting for 5 more years. That's some serious shit. Cake though, right? I mean, it looks like time is on our side. I can get a lot done in 5 years... and so can he.
I used to complain to my mom and ask her why my baby book was never completed. There are dates that aren't filled out. I don't know when exactly i executed all my "firsts", or when my teeth started sprouting and how tall i got at a certain age. She just used to tell me that there was no time for it, or she forgot. Before i had Dylan, i thought it was a load of crap- all you do is watch children, cook, and clean. How hard could that have been??
Oh wow. How SO WRONG was i??? i deserve to be sneered at for that comment. My mom has the right to laugh at me til i no longer exist. Karma is great.
Here i am, years later, with a child of my own. I barely clean (my dad should be laughing his heart out at this moment), i only cook every now and then- nothing close to 3 meals a day, and it doesn't really take that much to look after Dylan. He's pretty good at taking care of himself. Yet, the baby book is incomplete, i've neglected to measure his height every month, and pictures? Hmm... they're somewhere. Haha!
HOnestly, i find it a great & pleasant surprise to find baby pictures wedged into old diaries, planners, and random boxes with other pictures of my "old life", with other stacks of pictures of friends who have come and gone. Nonetheless, i should get to organizing them. No excuse.
Ah, the gift of life.
I remember a time when i used to think that 25 was considered LIGHT YEARS away for me. Those people were old (haha). The farthest i've ever gone to envisioning my future ended at 24. Past that, i had no idea what i was gonna do or what life had in store for me. I'm more of a live-life-a-day-at-a-time chick. I'm turning 26 this year. I can't believe it.
Seriously, where did the years go???
I have a lot in store for me this year. Big changes, HUUUUUUUUUGE. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I really need to brace myself.
I keep putting off things i should be doing to make room for things i HAVE to get done. I just hope i'm making wise decisions.
Time lost is something you can't ever get back.
“How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?”
-Dr. Seuss
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Who, me???
I just did that 25 Random Things About Yourself on Facebook. It came out from nowhere like a bad case of the chicken pox. Everyone was doing it, and i have to admit, it was very entertaining and a lot of fun to think about 25 things of my own that i'd be willing to share with people.
So i started thinking... is there anything i do that is ME? I wanted to test it out and see how much i could come up with. Obviously, i have nothing better to do with my time.
Let's see...
1. I move my lips when i read to myself.
2. I wiggle my toes when i think.
3. I sleep with a "house" (as Ian calls it). I have this formula for when i sleep. I need, absolutely NEED, 3 pillows. One for my head, and one on either side of me. It's a must. It's the only way i sleep good at night. If i'm given only one pillow (like at hotels), and another one is not available, no matter what i do... i use my sweater as a pillow, the actual pillow on my left side, and i scrunch up the blanket and tuck it behind me on my right.
4. I'm not messy... it's organized clutter. I know where everything is. You clean it up and move everything around... and i can't find something- THEN it turns into a mess.
5. If i really really like the book i'm reading, no matter how thick it is, i'll finish it in one go.
6. Don't ever wake me up when completely unnecessary (necessary means emergency... anything OTHER than that- UNNECESSARY).
7. Don't talk to me when i'm watching TV. If i miss a vital part and you can't tell me what it was... it'll be the end of you. Just kidding. I'll get pretty upset, but i won't tell you.
8. I'm anti-confrontational. I don't like being the bearer of bad news. I don't like yelling at people. I'm not one to complain either. It's not a good thing at all.
9. I dance when i hear music. I dance when i'm happy. I dance to keep myself preoccupied. I dance when i like what i'm eating. I dance while i'm waiting. I like to dance.
10. They say you get your stripper name by putting your first pet's name with your first street address name. In that case, my stripper name is Chuchi Chuntug. [choo-chee choon-toog]
11. When i was young i wanted to join the circus and be that chick on the flying trapeze. Either that or become a nun- so i'd never have to endure the pain of childbirth. I was 6 or 7 i think.
12. I used to do all the "bad things" as a kid- break things, write on walls, scratch the walls, misplace things, mess up someone else's things... and i always blamed it on my brother. I usually got away with it. My parents didn't figure it out until we were almost in our 20's.
13. I can ride a horse without a saddle on. I don't know if that's hard, but i think that's pretty hardcore
14. I can pick things up with my toes. I can also move JUST my little toe. It's muscle manipulation... i think that's hard. My dad's impressed. I think Dylan has it too. Most people think that's weird.
15. I point with my lips sometimes. That's sooooooooo Filipino. haha
16. I tell myself a story or think of an alternate universe where i'm someone else... to get myself to fall asleep.
17. I cry at weddings. Even when i don't know the couple who got married.
18. I feel like something is missing when i don't have bangles on. I always have to have something on my arms/wrists.
19. I cry when i'm angry.
20. I've always wanted to wait on the side of the street with a stick and wait for someone to come rolling along on a bike... and when they pass by, i'd wedge the stick into their wheel. I'd never do it, of course. But that thought always passes through my head when i see someone on a bike pass me. If you see me smiling to myself, that's most probably what i'm thinking.
21. I secretly wanna shove people out of the way when they're walking too slow. I don't care how old they are. They should walk on the side.
22. I've owned a diary since before i can even remember. Maybe 7 or 8. I have snippets of my life written down somewhere. It's entertaining to read them and look back years and years later.
23. I believe Bob Marley was onto something.
24. I don't like beans and i can't eat peas. If i find them in my food, they turn into a small pile on the side of my plate. I'll avoid eating them as much as i can.
25. I remember birthdays. I always have. If you're important to me, most likely i know when your birthday is, and you'll hear from me when that day comes.
That wasn't too bad.
Dylan's in need of a bath and has to retire into bed.
It feels good to write again.. even though it's silly little nothings. haha
So i started thinking... is there anything i do that is ME? I wanted to test it out and see how much i could come up with. Obviously, i have nothing better to do with my time.
Let's see...
1. I move my lips when i read to myself.
2. I wiggle my toes when i think.
3. I sleep with a "house" (as Ian calls it). I have this formula for when i sleep. I need, absolutely NEED, 3 pillows. One for my head, and one on either side of me. It's a must. It's the only way i sleep good at night. If i'm given only one pillow (like at hotels), and another one is not available, no matter what i do... i use my sweater as a pillow, the actual pillow on my left side, and i scrunch up the blanket and tuck it behind me on my right.
4. I'm not messy... it's organized clutter. I know where everything is. You clean it up and move everything around... and i can't find something- THEN it turns into a mess.
5. If i really really like the book i'm reading, no matter how thick it is, i'll finish it in one go.
6. Don't ever wake me up when completely unnecessary (necessary means emergency... anything OTHER than that- UNNECESSARY).
7. Don't talk to me when i'm watching TV. If i miss a vital part and you can't tell me what it was... it'll be the end of you. Just kidding. I'll get pretty upset, but i won't tell you.
8. I'm anti-confrontational. I don't like being the bearer of bad news. I don't like yelling at people. I'm not one to complain either. It's not a good thing at all.
9. I dance when i hear music. I dance when i'm happy. I dance to keep myself preoccupied. I dance when i like what i'm eating. I dance while i'm waiting. I like to dance.
10. They say you get your stripper name by putting your first pet's name with your first street address name. In that case, my stripper name is Chuchi Chuntug. [choo-chee choon-toog]
11. When i was young i wanted to join the circus and be that chick on the flying trapeze. Either that or become a nun- so i'd never have to endure the pain of childbirth. I was 6 or 7 i think.
12. I used to do all the "bad things" as a kid- break things, write on walls, scratch the walls, misplace things, mess up someone else's things... and i always blamed it on my brother. I usually got away with it. My parents didn't figure it out until we were almost in our 20's.
13. I can ride a horse without a saddle on. I don't know if that's hard, but i think that's pretty hardcore
14. I can pick things up with my toes. I can also move JUST my little toe. It's muscle manipulation... i think that's hard. My dad's impressed. I think Dylan has it too. Most people think that's weird.
15. I point with my lips sometimes. That's sooooooooo Filipino. haha
16. I tell myself a story or think of an alternate universe where i'm someone else... to get myself to fall asleep.
17. I cry at weddings. Even when i don't know the couple who got married.
18. I feel like something is missing when i don't have bangles on. I always have to have something on my arms/wrists.
19. I cry when i'm angry.
20. I've always wanted to wait on the side of the street with a stick and wait for someone to come rolling along on a bike... and when they pass by, i'd wedge the stick into their wheel. I'd never do it, of course. But that thought always passes through my head when i see someone on a bike pass me. If you see me smiling to myself, that's most probably what i'm thinking.
21. I secretly wanna shove people out of the way when they're walking too slow. I don't care how old they are. They should walk on the side.
22. I've owned a diary since before i can even remember. Maybe 7 or 8. I have snippets of my life written down somewhere. It's entertaining to read them and look back years and years later.
23. I believe Bob Marley was onto something.
24. I don't like beans and i can't eat peas. If i find them in my food, they turn into a small pile on the side of my plate. I'll avoid eating them as much as i can.
25. I remember birthdays. I always have. If you're important to me, most likely i know when your birthday is, and you'll hear from me when that day comes.
That wasn't too bad.
Dylan's in need of a bath and has to retire into bed.
It feels good to write again.. even though it's silly little nothings. haha
Kaun na ka
The 2 weekends i was in Butuan, i felt like all i did was eat & play music.
When i wasn't eating, i was alone, so i found myself saying random things to myself or blurting out nonsense every now and then. I just wanted to make sure my voice was still there.
There were 3 weddings held at the hotel out of the 4 days i was there. I'm hoping to God that I will never have to wear a bridesmaids dress that looks like any of them.
DVD's make time fly by like nothing.
My hosts and whoever they were with, spoke in their native dialect everywhere we went and only spoke in Tagalog when speaking directly to me. I didn't understand most of their conversations, but i caught on with some. I don't quite understand why they did that.
I think Butuan should be called the "Red Horse Drinkers Capital of the Philippines". Even chicks down them. Crazy.
I can't ever be famous. Ever. I don't like the attention. I hate taking pictures. When people scream my name, i get more angry/embarrassed than i do flattered.
I think God gave me Dylan so that i never have to be alone. I need human contact. Peace & quiet can drive me up the walls.
I will never again show up for a flight at the bare minimum of 45 minutes pre-departure. I HATE the B seat. I NEED to sit next to the window.
And i don't understand why people get up AS SOON as they hear that the plane is now boarding passengers- we already got our boarding passes... the plane isn't going to leave without us! Same thing goes for when the plane stops... why do people rush to get up all of a sudden? We're all gonna get off no matter what.
Also, what's up with people turning on their phones and unbuckling their seat belts just as the flight attendant is announcing for you to do otherwise?
*hay naku* Mga Pilipino talaga. Magpakita kayo ng pagbabago, bigyan niyo'ko ng pagasa.
Airport taxis scream out EXTORTION.
Terminal fee is 200 pesos for domestic flights. WHY?
If you carry a Filipino passport, you pay over a 1000 pesos for International Flights. WHY?
I cannot believe you have to pay for your own snack on a Cebu Pacific flight. They sell souvenirs too??? crazy...
Our country is HUGE... and oh-so beautiful. IF only we could do all the right things with it. IF ONLY.
When i wasn't eating, i was alone, so i found myself saying random things to myself or blurting out nonsense every now and then. I just wanted to make sure my voice was still there.
There were 3 weddings held at the hotel out of the 4 days i was there. I'm hoping to God that I will never have to wear a bridesmaids dress that looks like any of them.
DVD's make time fly by like nothing.
My hosts and whoever they were with, spoke in their native dialect everywhere we went and only spoke in Tagalog when speaking directly to me. I didn't understand most of their conversations, but i caught on with some. I don't quite understand why they did that.
I think Butuan should be called the "Red Horse Drinkers Capital of the Philippines". Even chicks down them. Crazy.
I can't ever be famous. Ever. I don't like the attention. I hate taking pictures. When people scream my name, i get more angry/embarrassed than i do flattered.
I think God gave me Dylan so that i never have to be alone. I need human contact. Peace & quiet can drive me up the walls.
I will never again show up for a flight at the bare minimum of 45 minutes pre-departure. I HATE the B seat. I NEED to sit next to the window.
And i don't understand why people get up AS SOON as they hear that the plane is now boarding passengers- we already got our boarding passes... the plane isn't going to leave without us! Same thing goes for when the plane stops... why do people rush to get up all of a sudden? We're all gonna get off no matter what.
Also, what's up with people turning on their phones and unbuckling their seat belts just as the flight attendant is announcing for you to do otherwise?
*hay naku* Mga Pilipino talaga. Magpakita kayo ng pagbabago, bigyan niyo'ko ng pagasa.
Airport taxis scream out EXTORTION.
Terminal fee is 200 pesos for domestic flights. WHY?
If you carry a Filipino passport, you pay over a 1000 pesos for International Flights. WHY?
I cannot believe you have to pay for your own snack on a Cebu Pacific flight. They sell souvenirs too??? crazy...
Our country is HUGE... and oh-so beautiful. IF only we could do all the right things with it. IF ONLY.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sandman... bring me a dream
Insomnia sucks.
It's hard for me too since i work at night (and being a DJ consists of working til the wee hours of the morning), and i have to be up in the morning to take Dylan to school.
It's a hectic schedule, but i guess you do what you have to do.
I can't wait til i get the full 8 hours of sleep... that's all i want right now. Uninterrupted, deep REM, full on SLEEP.
Being delirious is the same thing as being drunk... so basically, i've been drunk everyday this week (or last week). LOL
*ugh
It's hard for me too since i work at night (and being a DJ consists of working til the wee hours of the morning), and i have to be up in the morning to take Dylan to school.
It's a hectic schedule, but i guess you do what you have to do.
I can't wait til i get the full 8 hours of sleep... that's all i want right now. Uninterrupted, deep REM, full on SLEEP.
Being delirious is the same thing as being drunk... so basically, i've been drunk everyday this week (or last week). LOL
*ugh
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Here we go again...
New Year take 26... and GO!
Another new year, another fresh start, more chances, more opportunities, and a lot more screw ups coming your way. Isn't that nice?
I have a good feeling about this year (apparently, a lot of people do)... and i dare not say anything more, god-forbid i jinx it.
Love all around. God Speed. and Good Luck.
Another new year, another fresh start, more chances, more opportunities, and a lot more screw ups coming your way. Isn't that nice?
I have a good feeling about this year (apparently, a lot of people do)... and i dare not say anything more, god-forbid i jinx it.
Love all around. God Speed. and Good Luck.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
'tis the Season?
For what?
2 Things i feel (yeah, yeah, Bah-Humbug to me):
1) Christmas is a Hallmark holiday, an entire season dedicated to trap consumers.
It's an excuse to sell cards, excessively spend hard-earned money on "things", and a damn good excuse to be "nice" (why can't we be nice all year round?). Why can't we give each other presents whenever we feel like it? Is it necessary to have to do it all at the same time? It's a season that painfully reminds me of how much money i DON'T have. =p haha
Perhaps if i had wads and wads of cash, and an unlimited credit amount, i'd be happier around Christmas time... actually, i'm almost sure of it. Then again, i'd probably be happier all year round. Not to say that cash makes me happy- but it sure as hell HELPS.
2) Christmas is for kids. If I didn't have Dylan, i don't think the tree would even have made it up this year. But it's part of our childhood. I remember having so many happy memories of Christmas growing up. So the last 4 years have really just been dedicated to him. I believe a good childhood deserves good Christmas memories.
The anticipation, the excitement, the surprises. Wanting to peek at your presents (i always did that), looking forward to Noche Buena.
I mean, for kids, they don't have the liberty of buying themselves whatever they want, whenever they want it. They don't make their own money, so they depend on Mom and Dad. So putting everything you want down on a list and expecting to get MOST of it (if not ALL) in ONE day- that's pretty damn cool.
So where does that leave us?
I'm a parent, so Christmas is for Dylan. I don't know why, but i have this strong feeling that i'm SUPPOSED to always be with my family when the 24th rolls around.
Christmas is when i don't mind tipping the cab drivers more than i usually would. If they ask for extra, i don't question it, and i don't get as worked up as i usually would. I figure, they're trying to make that extra few pesos just like i am, so they can give their kids something nice or provide a really good Christmas dinner for the whole family. Tough living in a 3rd World Country.
Christmas is that time of year when you find out who really gives a shit. haha
Be it a small greeting, a short message, or a little something- knowing that someone out there remembered you on a holiday that people consider so overrated these days... it think it's still pretty sweet.
I have a handful of people that i don't hear from the whole year, but when Xmas or my birthday rolls around, i'll bet money on it that i get a text a little after midnight or a message waiting for me in my inbox. Maybe it's routine, but for me, it's still something.
Christmas is that time of year i feel like my pockets are completely empty, but i look around and realize that i'm also very lucky. I don't think about it as often as i should, but i have so many things to be thankful for and a lot to smile about.
2008 is almost over and it happened in a blink of an eye. I wonder if this is what it's like to grow older. I remember being a kid of around 9-10 years old and it took FOREVER for Christmas to come around. These days, they whiz right on by.
It was a crazy year. I'm hoping 2009 bring even better things.
Chances are, i won't write anything til next year...
so Happy Christmas guys...
Inner Peace, True Love, & Everlasting Happiness.
2 Things i feel (yeah, yeah, Bah-Humbug to me):
1) Christmas is a Hallmark holiday, an entire season dedicated to trap consumers.
It's an excuse to sell cards, excessively spend hard-earned money on "things", and a damn good excuse to be "nice" (why can't we be nice all year round?). Why can't we give each other presents whenever we feel like it? Is it necessary to have to do it all at the same time? It's a season that painfully reminds me of how much money i DON'T have. =p haha
Perhaps if i had wads and wads of cash, and an unlimited credit amount, i'd be happier around Christmas time... actually, i'm almost sure of it. Then again, i'd probably be happier all year round. Not to say that cash makes me happy- but it sure as hell HELPS.
2) Christmas is for kids. If I didn't have Dylan, i don't think the tree would even have made it up this year. But it's part of our childhood. I remember having so many happy memories of Christmas growing up. So the last 4 years have really just been dedicated to him. I believe a good childhood deserves good Christmas memories.
The anticipation, the excitement, the surprises. Wanting to peek at your presents (i always did that), looking forward to Noche Buena.
I mean, for kids, they don't have the liberty of buying themselves whatever they want, whenever they want it. They don't make their own money, so they depend on Mom and Dad. So putting everything you want down on a list and expecting to get MOST of it (if not ALL) in ONE day- that's pretty damn cool.
So where does that leave us?
I'm a parent, so Christmas is for Dylan. I don't know why, but i have this strong feeling that i'm SUPPOSED to always be with my family when the 24th rolls around.
Christmas is when i don't mind tipping the cab drivers more than i usually would. If they ask for extra, i don't question it, and i don't get as worked up as i usually would. I figure, they're trying to make that extra few pesos just like i am, so they can give their kids something nice or provide a really good Christmas dinner for the whole family. Tough living in a 3rd World Country.
Christmas is that time of year when you find out who really gives a shit. haha
Be it a small greeting, a short message, or a little something- knowing that someone out there remembered you on a holiday that people consider so overrated these days... it think it's still pretty sweet.
I have a handful of people that i don't hear from the whole year, but when Xmas or my birthday rolls around, i'll bet money on it that i get a text a little after midnight or a message waiting for me in my inbox. Maybe it's routine, but for me, it's still something.
Christmas is that time of year i feel like my pockets are completely empty, but i look around and realize that i'm also very lucky. I don't think about it as often as i should, but i have so many things to be thankful for and a lot to smile about.
2008 is almost over and it happened in a blink of an eye. I wonder if this is what it's like to grow older. I remember being a kid of around 9-10 years old and it took FOREVER for Christmas to come around. These days, they whiz right on by.
It was a crazy year. I'm hoping 2009 bring even better things.
Chances are, i won't write anything til next year...
so Happy Christmas guys...
Inner Peace, True Love, & Everlasting Happiness.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Are you ready for this?
Asia's Hottest Female DJ Tandem
DJ Teaze & DJ Jena
For booking and inquiries contact Chris Aldaba.
+63-917-794-8024
chris@steakproductions.com
Photos by Wesley Villarica
Parallax Studios
DJ Teaze & DJ Jena
For booking and inquiries contact Chris Aldaba.
+63-917-794-8024
chris@steakproductions.com
Photos by Wesley Villarica
Parallax Studios
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Negligence & The Queen of Procrastination
Seriously.
I write when i have too many things going through my head.
I write mostly when i'm confused, sad, angry... or bored.
I don't write when i'm happy- i'm too busy enjoying life to take the time to actually put it into writing.
I go through "writer's block" A LOT. I have a lot to say but don't know how to say it.
I think twice about what i put out there... do i really wanna let people into my life like that?
Sometimes, i just don't give a flying f@#%.
I am the Queen of Procrastination. Give me a project and you can bet everything that means anything to you that i won't get to it or start crackin at it til the very last minute (or the last 24, maybe even less, hours). That's how i've always been.
But the perfectionist in me will make sure it is of awesome quality and won't rest til it's to my satisfaction. I lose hair because of these moments.
BUT i get it done on time. =) ha!
I stopped writing on here in the beginning of the year... and look what we have here. I'm back just right before the year ends. Typical.
As any ordinary life goes... it was a roller coaster, as usual.
Very high highs, and some ultimately deep and treacherous lows.
I wish i had those implant video thingies like in that movie The Final Cut with Robin Williams. Either that or Dumbledore's Pensieve Bowl- where he takes out memories and dumps it into a very pretty stone bowl, and whenever he feels like it, he can go back to any memory he has had in his whole entire life. Pretty awesome concept if you ask me.
The year whizzed on by. I remember the days would drag sometimes, but the weeks and months seemed to just fly by like nothing.
Ian came home at the end of March. I met his parents. It didn't go very well (but that's a whole other story). I said goodbye to Ian... and it was seriously one of the hardest things i ever had to do. We've been good though. Keeping in touch every day and catching up whenever we have time. Long distance is a bitch and i seriously don't recommend it to anyone. A lot of people think i'm crazy for even thinking of doing this... but hey, if you think it's worth it, you give it a shot. So far, so good. One year down, 5 more to go. (yeah. haha. Wouldn't you like to know how that fairy tale ends?)
I don't get to see him til later because... i'm from here. Manila. The Philippines. He's over there... The States. Try being me and apply for an American Visa. Ha! Yeah, still trying to work that out...
Dylan is absolutely in love with school and he's having the time of his life. I wish i could be 4 years old again... life was so simple. I can only imagine how huge the world seems to be to him. They grow up way too fast.
Finally, finally, finally did a gig outside the country. Singapore was awesome and we had an incredible party. Jena and i are ecstatic. We're just waiting for even bigger things to hit us. This is gonna be phenomenal.
The food in Singapore was iiiiiiiiiiiin-f*ckin-credible. WOW.
Shanghai on the other hand... maybe i went to all the wrong places... but the shopping was serious business. =) I came home practically in debt.
We're waiting for confirmation dates on Canada, Dubai, Germany, KL, and Australia (maybe). How can i not be psyched about that??? Keeping my fingers crossed that the green passport doesn't fail me.
These are the moments that make me absolutely love my job.
I have days when i feel like there just isn't enough hours in a day... and other days where i feel like the day is just way too long. (That was a lot of"day(s)")
I wish i could write as often as i'd like...
These are one of those days when i have a lot of time on my hands. I'm in"recharge" mode... i'm getting ready for work tonight (meaning i'm doing absolutely nothing), i'm researching new music, i'm stalking friends on Facebook/MySpace, taking time to write emails to letters that need a long-overdue response, and untagging pictures that i deem unflattering or just completely embarrassing (due to retarded alcoholic consumption, i seem to have a lot of those- and i'm not proud of it).
I have too many of these things that i have to sign up for. Soon enough, i'll be forgetting the passwords and usernames to some of them and it'll be completely useless.
Blogger * Multiply * Myspace * Facebook * Friendster * Photobucket * MySlide * Gmail * Yahoo * AIM * Kodak (Photo something... see, i forgot already) * WAYN??? *
WHY???
So this turned out to be a word-vomit session.
I may or may not have made sense... but atleast i got to write a few things down.
I write when i have too many things going through my head.
I write mostly when i'm confused, sad, angry... or bored.
I don't write when i'm happy- i'm too busy enjoying life to take the time to actually put it into writing.
I go through "writer's block" A LOT. I have a lot to say but don't know how to say it.
I think twice about what i put out there... do i really wanna let people into my life like that?
Sometimes, i just don't give a flying f@#%.
I am the Queen of Procrastination. Give me a project and you can bet everything that means anything to you that i won't get to it or start crackin at it til the very last minute (or the last 24, maybe even less, hours). That's how i've always been.
But the perfectionist in me will make sure it is of awesome quality and won't rest til it's to my satisfaction. I lose hair because of these moments.
BUT i get it done on time. =) ha!
I stopped writing on here in the beginning of the year... and look what we have here. I'm back just right before the year ends. Typical.
As any ordinary life goes... it was a roller coaster, as usual.
Very high highs, and some ultimately deep and treacherous lows.
I wish i had those implant video thingies like in that movie The Final Cut with Robin Williams. Either that or Dumbledore's Pensieve Bowl- where he takes out memories and dumps it into a very pretty stone bowl, and whenever he feels like it, he can go back to any memory he has had in his whole entire life. Pretty awesome concept if you ask me.
The year whizzed on by. I remember the days would drag sometimes, but the weeks and months seemed to just fly by like nothing.
Ian came home at the end of March. I met his parents. It didn't go very well (but that's a whole other story). I said goodbye to Ian... and it was seriously one of the hardest things i ever had to do. We've been good though. Keeping in touch every day and catching up whenever we have time. Long distance is a bitch and i seriously don't recommend it to anyone. A lot of people think i'm crazy for even thinking of doing this... but hey, if you think it's worth it, you give it a shot. So far, so good. One year down, 5 more to go. (yeah. haha. Wouldn't you like to know how that fairy tale ends?)
I don't get to see him til later because... i'm from here. Manila. The Philippines. He's over there... The States. Try being me and apply for an American Visa. Ha! Yeah, still trying to work that out...
Dylan is absolutely in love with school and he's having the time of his life. I wish i could be 4 years old again... life was so simple. I can only imagine how huge the world seems to be to him. They grow up way too fast.
Finally, finally, finally did a gig outside the country. Singapore was awesome and we had an incredible party. Jena and i are ecstatic. We're just waiting for even bigger things to hit us. This is gonna be phenomenal.
The food in Singapore was iiiiiiiiiiiin-f*ckin-credible. WOW.
Shanghai on the other hand... maybe i went to all the wrong places... but the shopping was serious business. =) I came home practically in debt.
We're waiting for confirmation dates on Canada, Dubai, Germany, KL, and Australia (maybe). How can i not be psyched about that??? Keeping my fingers crossed that the green passport doesn't fail me.
These are the moments that make me absolutely love my job.
I have days when i feel like there just isn't enough hours in a day... and other days where i feel like the day is just way too long. (That was a lot of"day(s)")
I wish i could write as often as i'd like...
These are one of those days when i have a lot of time on my hands. I'm in"recharge" mode... i'm getting ready for work tonight (meaning i'm doing absolutely nothing), i'm researching new music, i'm stalking friends on Facebook/MySpace, taking time to write emails to letters that need a long-overdue response, and untagging pictures that i deem unflattering or just completely embarrassing (due to retarded alcoholic consumption, i seem to have a lot of those- and i'm not proud of it).
I have too many of these things that i have to sign up for. Soon enough, i'll be forgetting the passwords and usernames to some of them and it'll be completely useless.
Blogger * Multiply * Myspace * Facebook * Friendster * Photobucket * MySlide * Gmail * Yahoo * AIM * Kodak (Photo something... see, i forgot already) * WAYN??? *
WHY???
So this turned out to be a word-vomit session.
I may or may not have made sense... but atleast i got to write a few things down.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Those serious Flashbacks
I've always been sentimental. It's a great trait, however, a weakness at the same time. They say it's good to remember... it's just not good to dwell. Like i've said before- there's a reason why people "say" these things... there's gotta be some truth to it.
In a nutshell, a lot of things from my past have resurfaced. Some are simpler than others... and a good chunk of it- i have no idea what to do with it.
My move to Manila in the middle of my teens caused an uproar in my life. Life was perfect where i was, and i couldn't believe my parents decided to move me elsewhere for "my own good". I wasn't convinced. I had high hopes that i would be going back home anyway... that moving here, they would soon find out, was all a big mistake.
I was living in the past. Holding on to memories that were slowly being replaced. Living vicariously through the phone calls and emails that i so often received from friends. They were moving on without me... leaving the past behind and enjoying their present. I was grasping on to something that was fading and resenting everything that was right in front of me. It was something i couldn't understand at the time. My dad knew it was tearing me up inside.
He had to sit me down and give me another one of his talks. He had to explain to me that this was it. I had to move on and let go. It was the only way to make things better. It was time to stop feeling bad for myself.
So i did. The pictures on the walls came down. Banners from my "old" school were put away. The phone calls decreased. The emails thinned out. Eventually, i lost touch with these friends... and i built a new life in Manila.
It took me 9 years to think about all of this all over again.
You have to understand... when i let go of my past, i put everything away. And when you lock up something for so long... it tends to be left forgotten.
Unless it's accidentally stumbled into or found.
Unless you're asked about it.
Unless you see something that is an incredibly vivid reminder of it.
Unless you run into someone that ultimately refreshes your memory about all of it.
Unless you go looking for it yourself.
Now understand this... it was my past. I let it go. I got over it. I've built a new life... and i kinda like it. It's great to reminisce, it's awesome catching up... but sometimes, the past is better off left in the past.
Sometimes, you can't make up for lost time.
In over a decade, things have happened. People DO change.
Sometimes, the present doesn't give enough room for the things in the past to just shove its way in.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was for a different purpose...
I don't know for sure...
But what i do know is- it was good. You can't take that away from it.
I guess it's still inconclusive.
I know this may sound a bit heavy. It shouldn't be that serious.
All i'm saying is... i'm dealing with the present and making plans for the future... and all of that on its own is hard enough as it is.
Having ghosts in my closet jump back in my life wasn't part of the plan, and I'm not entirely sure of what i'm supposed to do.
Life, once again, is using me for plain amusement.
Thank you.
In a nutshell, a lot of things from my past have resurfaced. Some are simpler than others... and a good chunk of it- i have no idea what to do with it.
My move to Manila in the middle of my teens caused an uproar in my life. Life was perfect where i was, and i couldn't believe my parents decided to move me elsewhere for "my own good". I wasn't convinced. I had high hopes that i would be going back home anyway... that moving here, they would soon find out, was all a big mistake.
I was living in the past. Holding on to memories that were slowly being replaced. Living vicariously through the phone calls and emails that i so often received from friends. They were moving on without me... leaving the past behind and enjoying their present. I was grasping on to something that was fading and resenting everything that was right in front of me. It was something i couldn't understand at the time. My dad knew it was tearing me up inside.
He had to sit me down and give me another one of his talks. He had to explain to me that this was it. I had to move on and let go. It was the only way to make things better. It was time to stop feeling bad for myself.
So i did. The pictures on the walls came down. Banners from my "old" school were put away. The phone calls decreased. The emails thinned out. Eventually, i lost touch with these friends... and i built a new life in Manila.
It took me 9 years to think about all of this all over again.
You have to understand... when i let go of my past, i put everything away. And when you lock up something for so long... it tends to be left forgotten.
Unless it's accidentally stumbled into or found.
Unless you're asked about it.
Unless you see something that is an incredibly vivid reminder of it.
Unless you run into someone that ultimately refreshes your memory about all of it.
Unless you go looking for it yourself.
Now understand this... it was my past. I let it go. I got over it. I've built a new life... and i kinda like it. It's great to reminisce, it's awesome catching up... but sometimes, the past is better off left in the past.
Sometimes, you can't make up for lost time.
In over a decade, things have happened. People DO change.
Sometimes, the present doesn't give enough room for the things in the past to just shove its way in.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe it was for a different purpose...
I don't know for sure...
But what i do know is- it was good. You can't take that away from it.
I guess it's still inconclusive.
I know this may sound a bit heavy. It shouldn't be that serious.
All i'm saying is... i'm dealing with the present and making plans for the future... and all of that on its own is hard enough as it is.
Having ghosts in my closet jump back in my life wasn't part of the plan, and I'm not entirely sure of what i'm supposed to do.
Life, once again, is using me for plain amusement.
Thank you.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Intense highland fever & serious flashbacks
It was so good to be home.
I haven't been out of Manila (with the intention of getting much needed R&R) in over 2 years. The last time i was home wasn't exactly a joyful occasion. This was it. The "vacation" i was waiting for- it's just a bit strange that my vacation is set at a place where i grew up.
Baguio is different now. The familiar places look beaten down and neglected. The new places and random buildings that have popped up everywhere look so out of place. There's traffic! And the scent of pine is almost non-existent.
It's shocking what time can do to such a beautiful place.
But there are places that have been left untouched. Streets that look exactly the same as if i was on it just yesterday on my way to school. Random stops on the side of the road where i used to take breaks when i would ride my bike. My old school where i spent a chunk of my childhood and experienced some of the most memorable times of my life. My house.
I love going home. It reminds me about who i really am. It awakens long forgotten stories that should be remembered. It just brings me back to a really good time in my life... and i'm happy it will always be like that.
The past few months have been very heavy. The holidays whizzed past me and i didn't even notice it come and go. I've been spreading myself quite thin and i've been running myself to the ground. My dad thought i should go home so that i could "find myself".
I planned to go home, appreciate the peace and quiet, read a few books, drink lots of coffee, eat at all my favorite places (all 2 of them. haha) think, and write. Write a lot, actually.
It didn't go quite as i planned. But in a good way, make no mistake about that.
i have so many things running through my head right now.
I'm still in Baguio mode (thus, the highland fever) and i can't manage to get back into the swing of Manila. I'm trying to sort things out and go about my life like i have to all at the same time. Does that even make any sense?
I ran into a friend that i haven't spoken to in about 11 years. Serious flashback, that was.
but i can't think. I can't write. A part of me wants to put all of this down on paper... and a huge part of me just wants to keep it all to myself.
Maybe i'll just have to continue this some other time.
I haven't been out of Manila (with the intention of getting much needed R&R) in over 2 years. The last time i was home wasn't exactly a joyful occasion. This was it. The "vacation" i was waiting for- it's just a bit strange that my vacation is set at a place where i grew up.
Baguio is different now. The familiar places look beaten down and neglected. The new places and random buildings that have popped up everywhere look so out of place. There's traffic! And the scent of pine is almost non-existent.
It's shocking what time can do to such a beautiful place.
But there are places that have been left untouched. Streets that look exactly the same as if i was on it just yesterday on my way to school. Random stops on the side of the road where i used to take breaks when i would ride my bike. My old school where i spent a chunk of my childhood and experienced some of the most memorable times of my life. My house.
I love going home. It reminds me about who i really am. It awakens long forgotten stories that should be remembered. It just brings me back to a really good time in my life... and i'm happy it will always be like that.
The past few months have been very heavy. The holidays whizzed past me and i didn't even notice it come and go. I've been spreading myself quite thin and i've been running myself to the ground. My dad thought i should go home so that i could "find myself".
I planned to go home, appreciate the peace and quiet, read a few books, drink lots of coffee, eat at all my favorite places (all 2 of them. haha) think, and write. Write a lot, actually.
It didn't go quite as i planned. But in a good way, make no mistake about that.
i have so many things running through my head right now.
I'm still in Baguio mode (thus, the highland fever) and i can't manage to get back into the swing of Manila. I'm trying to sort things out and go about my life like i have to all at the same time. Does that even make any sense?
I ran into a friend that i haven't spoken to in about 11 years. Serious flashback, that was.
but i can't think. I can't write. A part of me wants to put all of this down on paper... and a huge part of me just wants to keep it all to myself.
Maybe i'll just have to continue this some other time.
Friday, December 7, 2007
The long car rides home
It's my favorite time of the "day". There's no traffic. You can come and go as you please. Everyone is resting. It's considered unusual to be up and about at this time. But i like it. I feel like this is the time where i'm at my best.
It feels as if the chaos is at a minimum. The busy air has a calm breeze to it now. It's actually alright. It feels like freedom... and there's nobody criticizing you.
I love the long car rides home. Especially when i retrace routes and follow a pattern i've gone through so many times before. It's a part of my past. It was something i lived through. And this is the time mostly spent thinking and pondering. Looking into the future, thinking about the present, and reminiscing about the past.
I'm sentimental. I can't help it.
But i enjoy these moments. They're part of something i'm still trying to put together.
I'm still looking forward to finding out what's about to happen. I have a feeling things are about to make a drastic change.
It just has to.
It feels as if the chaos is at a minimum. The busy air has a calm breeze to it now. It's actually alright. It feels like freedom... and there's nobody criticizing you.
I love the long car rides home. Especially when i retrace routes and follow a pattern i've gone through so many times before. It's a part of my past. It was something i lived through. And this is the time mostly spent thinking and pondering. Looking into the future, thinking about the present, and reminiscing about the past.
I'm sentimental. I can't help it.
But i enjoy these moments. They're part of something i'm still trying to put together.
I'm still looking forward to finding out what's about to happen. I have a feeling things are about to make a drastic change.
It just has to.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Through the Fire
Done.
It's all done.
The last month was probably another shift in my life... and i'm still trying to get used to all the changes.
I've said goodbye to my grandmother.
I've done the Palawan gig (which turned out to be the Palawan trip from hell).
I said "til next time..." to Ian.
I finished packing for Ian.
I landed a day-job and ended it just as fast as i got it.
We've finally decided to put Dylan into school- and it's pushing through.
I've established contacts in terms of my jewelry.
I'm getting to know different people more and more.
I'm getting worried about my leg- it's given up on me a few times and i might need to get an operation.
I'm moving on.
Something that i have just stated in 10 sentences is actually the complete sum up of my life in the past few weeks. I've been so caught up with "preoccupying" myself, i never really wanted to write about it. I had so many things to do, i was running around the metro and catching my breath only when time permitted it.
I was living. Getting through the day one step at a time... just simply, getting through it.
Ian's been gone for over 2 weeks now. It sounds quite pathetic... but i really feel different without him. It's just what happens in relationships, i guess. You're so used to being a "we", you forget how to function just as "me".
I've been doing alright though... the day job took up a good amount of my time... and i've made the extra effort to hang out and make plans with people.
I'm working on getting more work and handling more projects.
I'm working on making sure i'm a good enough mom.
I'm doing so many things with the intention of, not just improving myself, but improving my life in general.
I've gone through some things i thought i would never be able to hurdle my way through... but i've done it, and i've overcome it.
Shit happens. That's life.
But i'm still okay. I'm still strong.
I'm doing it for the people that matter.
It's all done.
The last month was probably another shift in my life... and i'm still trying to get used to all the changes.
I've said goodbye to my grandmother.
I've done the Palawan gig (which turned out to be the Palawan trip from hell).
I said "til next time..." to Ian.
I finished packing for Ian.
I landed a day-job and ended it just as fast as i got it.
We've finally decided to put Dylan into school- and it's pushing through.
I've established contacts in terms of my jewelry.
I'm getting to know different people more and more.
I'm getting worried about my leg- it's given up on me a few times and i might need to get an operation.
I'm moving on.
Something that i have just stated in 10 sentences is actually the complete sum up of my life in the past few weeks. I've been so caught up with "preoccupying" myself, i never really wanted to write about it. I had so many things to do, i was running around the metro and catching my breath only when time permitted it.
I was living. Getting through the day one step at a time... just simply, getting through it.
Ian's been gone for over 2 weeks now. It sounds quite pathetic... but i really feel different without him. It's just what happens in relationships, i guess. You're so used to being a "we", you forget how to function just as "me".
I've been doing alright though... the day job took up a good amount of my time... and i've made the extra effort to hang out and make plans with people.
I'm working on getting more work and handling more projects.
I'm working on making sure i'm a good enough mom.
I'm doing so many things with the intention of, not just improving myself, but improving my life in general.
I've gone through some things i thought i would never be able to hurdle my way through... but i've done it, and i've overcome it.
Shit happens. That's life.
But i'm still okay. I'm still strong.
I'm doing it for the people that matter.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Empty pitchers and Girl Time
You're never alone. Even if you think you are... the world is massive... you're not alone, trust me.
Just when i thought i had one of the worst weekends of my life and the sadness started to creep in much deeper and i began to cave in... i found out i wasn't as alone as i thought.
Girl time couldn't have come at a much better time. I've said it before, no matter how great your significant other is, and your guy friends are dope, a girl will always need girls.
So i find out that everybody is going through some kind of struggle. Everyone thinks everyone else is leading a better life only to find out that you're on the same boat anyway. Funny, isn't it? Maybe it's just the season to contemplate. A very deep soul-searching session is needed. Everybody is going through their 20's life crisis. The older generation would read this and proceed to laugh at our troubles, i'm sure.
Here's the thing. Is the glass half empty or half full? I read somewhere that someone thought their glass was neither- and concluded with the answer of it being completely empty, period.
Do you have any idea how many people are feeling that way today?
A lot.
The 20's- the decade of your life that's supposed to rock. Are we all starting to grow up too fast? These days, before you hit 30, you're supposed to already have a plan. You're supposed to be sure of yourself, make that decision and start the process of "the rest of your life".
The rest of your life is serious stuff. It's a bit scary. A million "what ifs" to be answered.
I didn't think i'd feel old at the age of 24. But i'm planning the rest of my life as i type this. I'm making decisions and taking steps to get me closer to my goal.
Yeah... all this because someone thought her pitcher was empty and i had girl time yesterday. I'll write about that some other time...
peas.
Just when i thought i had one of the worst weekends of my life and the sadness started to creep in much deeper and i began to cave in... i found out i wasn't as alone as i thought.
Girl time couldn't have come at a much better time. I've said it before, no matter how great your significant other is, and your guy friends are dope, a girl will always need girls.
So i find out that everybody is going through some kind of struggle. Everyone thinks everyone else is leading a better life only to find out that you're on the same boat anyway. Funny, isn't it? Maybe it's just the season to contemplate. A very deep soul-searching session is needed. Everybody is going through their 20's life crisis. The older generation would read this and proceed to laugh at our troubles, i'm sure.
Here's the thing. Is the glass half empty or half full? I read somewhere that someone thought their glass was neither- and concluded with the answer of it being completely empty, period.
Do you have any idea how many people are feeling that way today?
A lot.
The 20's- the decade of your life that's supposed to rock. Are we all starting to grow up too fast? These days, before you hit 30, you're supposed to already have a plan. You're supposed to be sure of yourself, make that decision and start the process of "the rest of your life".
The rest of your life is serious stuff. It's a bit scary. A million "what ifs" to be answered.
I didn't think i'd feel old at the age of 24. But i'm planning the rest of my life as i type this. I'm making decisions and taking steps to get me closer to my goal.
Yeah... all this because someone thought her pitcher was empty and i had girl time yesterday. I'll write about that some other time...
peas.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Can i get a dollar?
This post is based on absolutely nothing. A random babbling session. I've been too busy living and going about my day to actually have time to sit and write about the chaos going on in my head. But there are some things i feel need to be taken off my chest...
Last week, at work, i played for about 2 and a half hours. That's approximately (fine, exactly) an hour and a half more than what i'm being paid for. Perhaps because Mark isn't here, the schedule has changed... but that's beside the point. 2 and a half hours straight is still pretty freakin' long- no matter what anybody says. To add to that, it was pre-primetime. That means, i couldn't really play all the hits and all the bangers that everybody's so into nowadays. I think i sold out more than 9 times (i played HUMPS!!! for the love of elmo!!!), and without a doubt, i think i had a moment when people thought i was just downright a horrible DJ. Not such a good thing- really.
The reason: DJ #1 didn't have a charger and DJ #2 showed up 3 hours late (with a charger)
The kicker: i worked my ass off only to get paid less than what i expected... and just as much as DJ #2.
The problem: Can i just say- does that mean it's alright for me to show up to work 3 hours late? So working your ass off and slacking off is rewarded equally? I must be such a jackass... always having anxiety attacks to be there on time, keeping it professional... what a waste of time and energy. I mean, for what?!?! nobody gives a damn, right? I think that was verified for me last week.
The heartbreaker: i do it and i don't complain. What am i supposed to do? i think being this naive is implanted in my genetic code. So i shut the hell up and do what i'm told. Because that's just the way it is... no matter how much i freakin' hate it. I hate that i depend on this. But i do it coz i have to. It's a little sad. I think having to deal with all this took all the magic out of playing music- when all these years, it was what kept me going. *sigh*
So it's Friday, yet again. I'm gonna get there on time and put on my happy face. I do what i'm told and i'm grateful for the opportunity and the job a million people would die to have. It looks great on the surface, doesn't it? The grass is always greener on the other side. I commend those who know that they're walking on the greener pastures. Lucky sons of bitches. (joke) haha
We're experiencing stupid-weather season. It always happens to pour on days i'm scheduled to go out. I swear, someone out there is trying to spite me.
The weather seems to have a lot to do with my mood. So... yeah, i'm a bit damp at the moment.
I know i sound like i'm completely bitter... but in all honesty, i'm not. I'm just looking from outside the box and i don't like what i'm seeing. I've been standing up for things i thought have always been right- only to have people look at me and spit at my principles and values, almost yelling at me, that it doesn't mean jack shit. When i try to rebel and go with what everyone else has been doing (it hasn't done them any bad, so far), it bites me right smack on the ass. I get the "late" lecture when i'm hardly ever late... and at most, it'll be 10mins (when i do it on purpose coz i'm sick of waiting by myself at a venue for 40 god-forsaken minutes).
I don't get it.
I wish i could say i was doing all this just for fun. But that's not the case. I know it's not pocket change... but i just wish it was fair.
This is the moment when someone comes up to me, puts a hand on my shoulder, and gives me the concerned look... and then will softly utter the words, "but life isn't fair, dear".
You can go to hell then, bitch.
(i promise i'll write something more cheerful next time. It's raining... so i'm kind of just letting things pour... ALRIGHTY THEN - PEACE, TRUE LOVE & HAPPINESS!)
Last week, at work, i played for about 2 and a half hours. That's approximately (fine, exactly) an hour and a half more than what i'm being paid for. Perhaps because Mark isn't here, the schedule has changed... but that's beside the point. 2 and a half hours straight is still pretty freakin' long- no matter what anybody says. To add to that, it was pre-primetime. That means, i couldn't really play all the hits and all the bangers that everybody's so into nowadays. I think i sold out more than 9 times (i played HUMPS!!! for the love of elmo!!!), and without a doubt, i think i had a moment when people thought i was just downright a horrible DJ. Not such a good thing- really.
The reason: DJ #1 didn't have a charger and DJ #2 showed up 3 hours late (with a charger)
The kicker: i worked my ass off only to get paid less than what i expected... and just as much as DJ #2.
The problem: Can i just say- does that mean it's alright for me to show up to work 3 hours late? So working your ass off and slacking off is rewarded equally? I must be such a jackass... always having anxiety attacks to be there on time, keeping it professional... what a waste of time and energy. I mean, for what?!?! nobody gives a damn, right? I think that was verified for me last week.
The heartbreaker: i do it and i don't complain. What am i supposed to do? i think being this naive is implanted in my genetic code. So i shut the hell up and do what i'm told. Because that's just the way it is... no matter how much i freakin' hate it. I hate that i depend on this. But i do it coz i have to. It's a little sad. I think having to deal with all this took all the magic out of playing music- when all these years, it was what kept me going. *sigh*
So it's Friday, yet again. I'm gonna get there on time and put on my happy face. I do what i'm told and i'm grateful for the opportunity and the job a million people would die to have. It looks great on the surface, doesn't it? The grass is always greener on the other side. I commend those who know that they're walking on the greener pastures. Lucky sons of bitches. (joke) haha
We're experiencing stupid-weather season. It always happens to pour on days i'm scheduled to go out. I swear, someone out there is trying to spite me.
The weather seems to have a lot to do with my mood. So... yeah, i'm a bit damp at the moment.
I know i sound like i'm completely bitter... but in all honesty, i'm not. I'm just looking from outside the box and i don't like what i'm seeing. I've been standing up for things i thought have always been right- only to have people look at me and spit at my principles and values, almost yelling at me, that it doesn't mean jack shit. When i try to rebel and go with what everyone else has been doing (it hasn't done them any bad, so far), it bites me right smack on the ass. I get the "late" lecture when i'm hardly ever late... and at most, it'll be 10mins (when i do it on purpose coz i'm sick of waiting by myself at a venue for 40 god-forsaken minutes).
I don't get it.
I wish i could say i was doing all this just for fun. But that's not the case. I know it's not pocket change... but i just wish it was fair.
This is the moment when someone comes up to me, puts a hand on my shoulder, and gives me the concerned look... and then will softly utter the words, "but life isn't fair, dear".
You can go to hell then, bitch.
(i promise i'll write something more cheerful next time. It's raining... so i'm kind of just letting things pour... ALRIGHTY THEN - PEACE, TRUE LOVE & HAPPINESS!)
Sunday, August 19, 2007
A moment of retardation
A very short-lived cheap thrill.
It was an ordinary Saturday night. Another day at the office, i'd like to call it. The only thing that made this Saturday extraordinary was (1)we had a theme (90's HipHop) and (2)it was Sarah's birthday weekend. The night wears on like any other.
It's somewhere around 2am (atleast, i THINK it was) and i'm talking to Jena in one of those VIP rooms upstairs. And then, she says it. "Omigod, he's here..."
I turn around and look. I think about it for a split second. No more, no less. I tell Jena, "I'm gonna go talk to him."
She replies, "What?!?! What are you gonna say?"
I joke, "I don't know! I'm gonna ask him if i can be in one of his movies."
With that, i quickly make my way towards him. With every step i take, my mind races, with every ounce of sense & strength- i needed to come up with something to say. I'm an idiot and i can't believe i'm doing this.
I'm right in front of him and he's looking straight at me. Kinda hard to ignore someone my size standing dead-straight in front of you, right?
And i begin to babble. And i mean BABBLE. I say something along the lines of-
"I know you probably get this all the time, and i don't mean to be cliche or anything... but i'd just like to say that..." (for me to know, you don't need to know)
I, of course, compliment him on his work and all that crap that just seems absolutely ridiculous, now that i think about it. ANd of course, my retarded self ended our conversation with (1) me, asking him, if he needed anybody (female, filipina dj-ish) in any one of his films, to give me a call (in which he responds with, "i'll take you up on that", which he probably just said for the hell of it) and (2) me telling him, to "go ahead and do whatever it is that you do".
YEs.
He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.
Had it been anybody else, i really wouldn't have even bothered to make the effort (unless, of course, it was Johnny Depp. But that's a whole new strategy on its own). I'm not really fanatic by nature. I'm nothing close to being a groupie nor a band-aid in whatever form. I harldy ever get star-struck, really. But i had to. It was way too legendary to pass up.
Now i can say that i actually had a conversation with Quentin Tarantino. Personally, i think that's quite fresh.
Okay, so he prolly forgot about me the minute (even the second) i disappeared from his sight. He probably doesn't even remember me at all... then again, i'm sure of it. But i don't care. It was retarded... yet fun. =) yay for me.
It's something i like to laugh at... i never thought i'd ever cross paths with him, you see.
Maybe i'm a tiny bit of a fanatic after all... =p
Gimme a break. I was drunk. LOL!
It was an ordinary Saturday night. Another day at the office, i'd like to call it. The only thing that made this Saturday extraordinary was (1)we had a theme (90's HipHop) and (2)it was Sarah's birthday weekend. The night wears on like any other.
It's somewhere around 2am (atleast, i THINK it was) and i'm talking to Jena in one of those VIP rooms upstairs. And then, she says it. "Omigod, he's here..."
I turn around and look. I think about it for a split second. No more, no less. I tell Jena, "I'm gonna go talk to him."
She replies, "What?!?! What are you gonna say?"
I joke, "I don't know! I'm gonna ask him if i can be in one of his movies."
With that, i quickly make my way towards him. With every step i take, my mind races, with every ounce of sense & strength- i needed to come up with something to say. I'm an idiot and i can't believe i'm doing this.
I'm right in front of him and he's looking straight at me. Kinda hard to ignore someone my size standing dead-straight in front of you, right?
And i begin to babble. And i mean BABBLE. I say something along the lines of-
"I know you probably get this all the time, and i don't mean to be cliche or anything... but i'd just like to say that..." (for me to know, you don't need to know)
I, of course, compliment him on his work and all that crap that just seems absolutely ridiculous, now that i think about it. ANd of course, my retarded self ended our conversation with (1) me, asking him, if he needed anybody (female, filipina dj-ish) in any one of his films, to give me a call (in which he responds with, "i'll take you up on that", which he probably just said for the hell of it) and (2) me telling him, to "go ahead and do whatever it is that you do".
YEs.
He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.
Had it been anybody else, i really wouldn't have even bothered to make the effort (unless, of course, it was Johnny Depp. But that's a whole new strategy on its own). I'm not really fanatic by nature. I'm nothing close to being a groupie nor a band-aid in whatever form. I harldy ever get star-struck, really. But i had to. It was way too legendary to pass up.
Now i can say that i actually had a conversation with Quentin Tarantino. Personally, i think that's quite fresh.
Okay, so he prolly forgot about me the minute (even the second) i disappeared from his sight. He probably doesn't even remember me at all... then again, i'm sure of it. But i don't care. It was retarded... yet fun. =) yay for me.
It's something i like to laugh at... i never thought i'd ever cross paths with him, you see.
Maybe i'm a tiny bit of a fanatic after all... =p
Gimme a break. I was drunk. LOL!
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