A day like today

38.6 fever + hyper 5 year old = complete exhaustion.

This is what it means to be a mom. A single mom. Days like this i wish i had that someone to substitute for me and take care of me for a change.

Dylan started freaking out because i wouldn't stop shivering and i wouldn't come out from under the covers. How do you nicely tell a 5 year old that this is just a fever, i'm gonna be ok, but please just leave me alone. How do you expect a 5 year old to prepare their own meals because you can't get out of bed?

Well, you don't.
You get out from under the covers and soothe him until he's ok while you try not to shake uncontrollably. You try your hardest to look like everything is fine because he's gonna start to panic. I told him i was sick- he thought it was his fault.
You drag yourself out of bed and prepare a meal because he's hungry and a kid can't just live off ice cream and chips. So you ignore the chills and the aching joints and the thumping headache and you stand there and mince, and fry, and stir.

He says, "Thank you Mom, i love you." and i feel like my duty is done, it was worth it and now i have to crawl back into bed. The body aches continue, i can't breath through my nose, my head is pounding, and it's effin freezing. But i'm sweating so i must be really sick. I doze off again.

I have to give him a bath. Clean the kitchen. Clear the dining table. Screw the toys. I'll fix em tomorrow.

Well, now i have to read to him before bed.
I hope i'm okay enough to take him to school tomorrow.

I wish i had a sub.