Their Loss

“Behind every beautiful girl there’s a dumb ass guy who did her wrong and made her strong.” — Unknown


The very first time i had my heart broken, i was destroyed. At that time, i thought i was beyond repair. Heart break always feels like that. But it was the first time i let my guard down. The very first time i let someone in. And as i discovered, it was the first time someone would let me down. I never want to feel that way again.

I remember it vaguely- it took me 8 months and a bit to get over it. The let down was quick and abrupt. Actually, he disappeared off the face of the earth without my knowing it- no warning, no words, no nothing. The pain consumed me like i have never experienced before. The whole time i was wondering about what i did wrong, where did i mess up, how did i not see it coming, maybe if i had done some things differently- you name it, i thought it. I had covered all the bases. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. I did the only thing i could do- i let it go. Slowly, but surely, i moved on.

Without knowing it, this relationship stood as the basis of all relationships to come. Had it not happened, a lot of things in my life would have undoubtedly played out differently. This was the event that set my standards. It showed me the difference between what i could and could not tolerate. I knew, from that day on, that i would never ever be treated like shit again. Not ever.

And so it was.
I knew that i had given it everything i had. It's always been that way and that didn't change. I just figured that it would never fail because of my shortcomings. If it didn't work out, it was probably for the best. You don't ever force these things. They either work or they don't. With a clear understanding of what it was that i wanted and without expecting anything in return, my delusional vision of love was to find someone who appreciated my 110% and effortlessly showed me the same.

One after the other, i was dropped like hot coal. There was always someone better or somewhere better to be. It took a whole lot of bitter to appreciate the sweet. It wasn't until later in life that i figured (and was grateful) that what they had to offer was never what i wanted. I would have settled. I would have sold myself short. They didn't deserve me and i was worth way more than they figured.

Creating a facade of a happy relationship can be tiring if it's not really there. Trying to keep up with each others pace, putting up with the irritating quirks, pretending to like something when you honestly just hate it, and the plasticity. Oh, the plasticity. Trying to keep each other happy when you're the inconvenience just sounds like such a chore. Why would you ever subject yourself to that type of stress?

Every failed relationship and the heartbreak we endure is only one step closer to the right person you're supposed to be with. Love is like this made-up fairytale where people settle because of certain things- not giving up hope on a person, staying together for the kids, being the hero, not wanting to hurt the other person, etc. and whatever. Get over it. You will end up as nobody's hero and you shouldn't be doing this for anyone else but yourself. Anything else will only end up in disaster. Besides, if you don't put value upon yourself, you really expect other people to do it?

Things don't work out for a reason. It may look like shit at the moment... but years from now (or perhaps even sooner) it will dawn on you and hit you right smack between the eyes that it was probably one of the best things that ever happened to you. It opened doors for so many things you never thought possible and without even knowing it got rid of excess baggage you weren't even aware of.

It's only the end of the world if you make it to be.
If you gave it everything you got- then hey... it's their loss.